Not Quite what Pink Floyd had in Mind...

Runners World magazine often features media stars who happen to be runners. This month's is Ben Gibbard, the lead singer in the band Death Cab for Cutie (a band I actually have on my Run playlist!). The last quote of the article is this:

"How you transcend the wall, as a runner or a musician, defines who you are."

Wow. "As a runner or a musician..." or a mom, or an employee, or a student or a whatever-you-are. The Wall, it's not just for running.

The Wall, in running, is a physical or mental point in your workout or race where you have to stop. Either your body has run out of glycogen to burn for fuel, or your brain has decided that running is no longer on the schedule for today. I'm familiar with the Wall. It usually comes 2 miles before I'm done. Even if it's a 3 mile run, the 2-till-done mark almost always hits me. Unfortunately for Nashville, I hit it early (at mile 11 of the 26.2).

But I hit it in life too. Some days the Wall comes about an hour before bedtime when the only thing I can handle is putting on a movie and staring at the toddler. Sometimes it's cleaning and the dishes sit for one more night in the sink. Sometimes it's scheduling and that trip to the bank just won't happen today.

I know a racer who hits the wall the moment her foot crosses the START line. Obviously it's a mental wall more than a physical wall, but it's a wall nonetheless. And it's been transcended many times already. Today I'm thinking about what all my walls are, and that HOW I transcend them means something. Do I ask for help over it? Do I quit and sit down? Do I try to push the wall over, climb it, burn it, go around it? Or do I just trust that I'll transcend it, and look over my shoulder once I have?

Da da da DAAAAAHHH!!!

I did it. I signed up for the American Cancer Society's DetermiNATION program. Stephan bought me an entrance into the Soldier Field 10 mile run in May, and we both decided to run it to raise money.

It's a LONG way away, and the distance isn't all that challenging.

What IS challenging is reliving the whole, 'holy crap I have cancer' part of my life. I think it hits me every winter when I used to indulge in a few sessions in the tanning booth to ward off the winter blah's. Just to freak myself out I wikipedia'd Melanoma again. I should have just watched the Exorcist or something. Once again I saw that the Clark Level II has a 5 year survival rate of 85%-100%. Obviously I'm doing amazing and I'm not worried about 'surviving' but it does send a few chills to see those stats. It will be 4 years this May for me.

Because so many people who love me are generous and amazing, I hit my goal of raising $400 in less than a day. I'll be upping the goal in the next few days, and until then you can check out my fundraising page here:

Click to see cute pictures of Anna running!

Stephan has his own deal so I'll let him pimp himself one day soon.

Lists

Here is a list of some of the things our 2-year-old is afraid of after 9pm:

~sharks
~whales
~whale-sharks
~moose
~dinosaurs
~the roar a dinosaur makes
~the teeth of sharks
~a moose biting a shark
~shopping carts in the ocean
~divers
~the man who may come if you press the red button in an elevator
~big flies
~sea-serpents

Overheard: From a Supportive Family Member

S.F.M.: What are you up to today?

Me: I'm about to head out for a run.

S.F.M.: Oh. You still do that??

A Little Review

Since it's midnight... and what else does a mom of a 2-year-old do at midnight but re-read a year of her blog? I read through all of the Marathon preparation just now. Wow. I was insane. And what a let down!! I forgot how depressing that particular event was for me.

But then I kept reading and also remembered how the I.T. (illiotibial band) injury had me sidelined. And then... I think I was just being wimpy toward August there. So much drama! So much NOT running!! And poof! Just like that I ran a 1/2 marathon. Crazy, no? Where's the whining? The injury that changed my view on life and running forever? I put in 13.1 and just said, yea for me! (?!)

No.

The second the weather cooled off a transformation occurred in my lungs. Anything less than 65 degrees is like breathing pure oxygen for me. Go figure. Where I used to get dizzy and weak trying to finish 4 miles, now I can easily put 6 or 7 behind me and continue on with my day. So there's something about temperature, and possibly pollen count, that had me down and out over the summer.

I'm back on the running bandwagon. I pulled out all my cold weather gear from last year and have put in a few really good runs this week. Am I really ready to go through the emotional ride that is marathon training? Or marathon running? Or marathon ranning (I made up that word as a past tense for running)?

One thing I've wanted to do for a while is raise money on a race. I've always looked to the American Cancer Society as a great place to dump money. Their resources and website were pivotal in helping me feel like I could handle life 4 years ago (4 years?! Already?!?!) and I'd like to help them help more people.

Of course, life looks a lot different now than it did last year. A 2-year-old is a different creature than a 1-year-old. My life revolves around the 60-90-120 minute nap he may or may not take. Stephan is in school now to become a Nurse Practitioner, so there went his free time. I can always collect medals for 13.1's. Those are fun and (apparently!!!!) easy....


Man, what a difference a year makes!!!!

Must.... Keep...... Running.....

This time last year I was building up to 20 mile weeks. For those who are counting, that's an extra 2,000+ calories per week. It's how I was truly able to enjoy the holidays completely guilt free. Imagine that!

"Why, yes, I would LOVE a second serving of cake!"

"Of course I'll have a refill of this tasty chocolate liquor drink!!"

"Pasta for Christmas? Bring. It. On."

The 4 miles I've run this week just aren't going to cut it. It's time to find another marathon to train for!!

Go Runner Go!

The 1/2 marathon was AMAZING!! Ok, I mean, I was awesome IN the 1/2 marathon. It was 45 degrees and raining. I mean, RAINING. I was crazy- roller-coaster-ride- nervous about it. Even just standing in the corral. Ok, there wasn't really a corral. We were all just standing in a parking lot in a big group. The people who wanted to stand in front stood in front. I tried to stand as far back as I could. I saw a 2:20 pacer [a person with a sign on a stick who was trained to run the race in exactly 2 hours and 20 minutes). I estimated I would finish in about 2 hours and 45 minutes, so I tried to stand approximately that much further behind the pacer.

I started very slowly. VERY slowly. I hadn't trained, so I wanted to conserve my energy.
1 mile: Doing ok. Cold.
2 mile: Still ok.
3 mile: Starting to rain!
4 mile: Some chick passed me. She was walking.
5 mile: Ok. Only 8 more to go. One foot at a time.
6 mile: Hey, look, Elk! Seriously. I bet they make heat.
7 mile: Huh. Ok. 6 to go. More than half way!
8 mile: Dude! Only 5 to go!!! I can't feel my hands.
9 mile: We need to pick up this pace! This is fun!
10 mile: Look! Stephan!! It's pouring rain! He says, "I'm cold. Finish faster!"
11 mile: Smiling. Waving at people. This is awesome.
12 mile: One more! Running as fast as I have all day!!
13 mile: Look! Stephan!! Finish line!! Hi dad!
13.1 mile: 2 hours 44 minutes.

Rock. The. Eff. On.