AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-or-

Didn't run today either.

In energy medicine, the throat is the seat of creative expression. How you tell the world who you are lives here. A lot of things need to be functioning properly in order for the 5th chakra (the throat chakra) to be healthy. First of all you have to be confident enough to know who you are. Then you have to figure out how to express that 'self'.

I have an excellent reason to stop running. I could move on to something else. I don't have to be a runner anymore. I could be.... a weight lifter. A swimmer. A yoga master. I could stop running and just take more rests during the day. I could tweak my diet to keep my weight down and just do a minimum of working out.

I have three follow-up medical appointments this month and a few more alternative medicine appointments too. I honestly can't imagine my life now without running, and races, and medals, and t-shirts. I know running is what I want to do, but is it who I want to be??

I Did Not Run Today

It's only been four days and I'm already cranky-pants about it. I won't run tomorrow either. A friend at work sat me down to ask me all sorts of advice about running. It made me frustrated. 


One medical article gets really personal and states: "Current literature emphasizes the treatment of psychological and emotional stressors..."  "...Indeed, some form of psychological dysfunction may be involved in PVCD. It has been suggested that athletes with a history of clinical depression... are at risk for PVCD. More commonly, athletic individuals with PVCD are identified as high achievers who strive for external validation and are likely to avoid situations involving confrontation. Further, these individuals' perceptions of third-party (i.e., parents', coaches') expectations may be exaggerated, and they are likely to feel alienated from their teammates."


So there's that. Thank you medical science for calling me a high achiever and an athlete. Of course, I recently decided to integrate Healing Touch into running and BAM! I get diagnosed with something that is clearly better treated without western medical science. I'm doing casual research both into the medical implications of this diagnosis and the Healing Touch 5th chakra influences. According to a user-generated website the fifth chakra relates to how honestly one expresses himself/herself. If you know me, you know I'm pretty adept at expressing myself. I mean, I'm writing a blog right now, right?? 


I know I have a lot of work to do. I have to settle with not counting up the miles for a while. And that's ok. I can do that. Breath in, breath out.

No, Seriously. Stop Running.

An ER visit Wednesday led to a 2-night stay for yours truly at Loyola. Thanks to the most amazing medical care I've ever received, or could ever imagine receiving, I'm finally home with a really interesting diagnosis:

Paradoxical Vocal-Chord Dysfunction

It mimics asthma in a lot of ways. So what I've experienced for the last 15 years as exercise induced asthma is actually my vocal chords closing whenever my heart rate gets too high. Plan of action? Stop running. Then start running slowly. Very slowly. Like, run a mile. Then wait a day, then run 1.5 miles. It's almost a 'couch to 5k' program.

Heck, maybe it'll be good to hit the reset button. It's the best feeling in the world to be laying my own bed right now, so that's what I'm going to focus on for a while.

Two Cars

You've heard of people who watch 'guilty pleasure' television shows. Mine is A&E's Intervention. This morning I watched a sad story about a son who was an addict and a father who had been supporting him. When it came to the intervention the producers had positioned a police officer in the room because the son had made death threats to them. The son repeatedly refused the treatment they were offering so they left the father and son alone in the room.

The father looked at the son and said, "You're going to leave here in a car. The producers have a car, and the police officer has a car. Which one are you going to get into?"

Wow. It makes so much sense. At any point of your day you have two choices:

a. Breakfast: Eggs and toast? Or donuts and coffee?
b. Pre-work: Read the paper? Or do a short workout?
c. Lunch: What's to eat?
d. Post-work: Relax with television? Walk 30 minutes?
e. Evening: Late-night snack or go to bed early?

Time is passing. You're getting in one car or another. It's happening. Right now, as you sit at the computer, you're in a car. Which one is it? Is it the one that's taking you to health and wellness? Or the one that's keeping your status-quo?

And then... I was Flying!

My runs have not been awesome this winter. It was exciting when it got cold and I could actually run instead of just get geared up and have to walk home. But I was stuck at 12:25 minute miles. That's slow. That's slower than 5 miles per hour. Many people can walk 4 miles per hour, so what I was doing was just slightly faster than walking.

Until this week.

The American Cancer Society includes access to a great training website that tracks my routes and workouts. I finally accessed the site and realized that my iPod wasn't calibrated correctly. I'd been running 11 minute miles! So exciting!!

Then today... knowing that the iPod wasn't correct I just poured everything I had into the run. I just wanted to find out what I could do when I wasn't keeping track of it. And when I got home?

9:55

Yeah baby. That's faster than a 10 minute mile. The "10 minute mile" was the "C" grade in grade school. Kids who are normal should be able to run a 10 minute mile without much effort. It took me 20 years to get here, but HERE I AM!!!!

Adding a Little Balance

In addition to slowly building back up to 20 mile weeks (I'm up to 12 this week), I've added in 6 days a week of strength training. I'll let you know how that's going as soon as my deltoids stop shaking.

People in my Neighborhood

4 miles today. 12 degrees Fahrenheit, -3 windchill. It was one of those awful runs where all I could think of was how I could justify heading in early.

I thought about a person I know who just finished her chemo treatments. She told me she tried to run 4 miles but she didn't have the strength yet. So I kept going.

I passed an old man trying to walk three tiny dogs. They kept tangling in his feet and he looked miserable. So I kept going.

I passed a woman in a full burka getting into a car. I know it's her choice in this country, but still... I kept going.

I passed a house where a man with one artificial leg is living with his mother. I turned around there and ran home.

When I got home I couldn't feel the skin on my legs. My face mask was covered in ice. It was a good run.