Me: OW! You scratched me!
Him: No I didn't.
Me: Yes, you did!
Him: Where?
Me: Right here!
Him: That's not a scratch, that's a stretchmark.
Me: Excuse me?!
Him: [mumble, mumble] Everyone has stretch marks. I have them... It's... okay... they're.... [mumble mumble]...
Note to Men- No matter what it is, it's always a scratch, it's NEVER a stretchmark.
Him: So can I type a note to women? To tell them that's it's USUALLY a stretchmark.
Me: NO! I'm the one typing. [insert glare here]
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