On a Personal Note

A lot of music touches me, especially lately. We just watched the movie Once and I bought the soundtrack and LOVE it (which is good since the CD player in our car just broke and we can't eject it).

But just now I was digging around in my computer and found a Melissa Etheridge Cd that I downloaded from iTunes Originals and I'm bawling.

The world recently lost a wonderful woman to cancer. She used to read this blog all the time, sometimes she'd comment, but more often she would just email me cute thoughts, encouragement, love. When I started listening to this CD I really started missing her again.

It's weird that there are so many different things that are called "cancer". Some of them kill you, some of them let you live. Sometimes you "catch it" soon enough, and sometimes you don't get there in time. It sure isn't fair. That's about all I've learned in the few months I've been thinking about all this.

This CD is a set of songs that Melissa E. chose to sing live and talk about that outline her life, not only as a singer, but as a gay person and as a cancer survivor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not waving huge flags of survivorship, since my cancer was pretty little. But the last track is really good. And wow. Here are some of the words:

It's been years since they told her about it
The darkness her body possessed
And the scars are still there in the mirror
Every day that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast,
If you ask her why she is still running,
She'll tell you it makes her complete

I run for hope, I run to feel
I run for the truth for all that is real
I run for your mother, your sister, your wife
I run for you and me my friend
I run life

It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin
And they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul*

And now I'm still learning a lesson
To awake when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for her soul

And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her, remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers, running for more

*emphasis added by me, because that's what made me cry