Triathlon Training Tip #1

If your training partner ever says something like:

Him: Hey, I know we're only one month into training, but let's try to swim the entire half-mile today!!

Go ahead and let him do it.

Too Cold in the Arena for Photos

Sorry about this, you'll have to read this story without any visuals...

So, you've seen rodeo. I've talked about rodeo, PBR, The Nile that comes through Billings, Roughies, Loopies, Timies, etc.

Wow, is it a different sport when your friend's husband is playing rodeo clown.

I'm sorry, "Bull Fighter."

Not Bullfighter, but Bull FIGHTING. Watch the whole video. Listen to the voices of the Bull Fighters, and watch how insane these guys are. They're, like, the rodeo version of a suped-up Flight Nurse. When the dude falls off the psycho-pissed-wild-bucking-bull, the Fighter runs in (you can see this well on the video) and stands between the dude and the bull to keep the dude safe. Essentially, these guys say "Hey, look over here!!"

Now, imagine sitting next to that Fighter's wife and kid while the rodeo is going on. I don't think I've ever spent a more tense 2 hours.

Since We Weren't Really THAT Busy... Part Two

Stephan wants to learn French. Like, the language. Because the trip to Honduras, Triathlon Training, 100-mile-hike-in-5-days training, potentially coordinating the hospital's response to trauma situations, being 1/2 of the education officer for the Plevna Volunteer Fire Department, planting peas, castrating/tagging calves, fixing the house up, and, oh, that 40 hour a week job as an ER nurse just wasn't keeping him occupied enough.

So... anyone know the best way to learn French? We're putting our attention on the Rosetta Stone series since it's everywhere. If anyone knows where to get the disks relatively cheaply (as household budget officer, I'm not willing to let $450.00 go that easily), or a better way of learning French easily and quickly, please let me know!

There's not a lot of options out here for learning a foreign language. Or learning Aikido, in case you wanted to know.

The Wind is STILL BLOWING!!!

We haven't had a break from 20-35mph wind in the last two weeks.

Which is why this is such a great idea! (I totally stole this page from our Rhode Island friends, who were faster to take photos of the wind farm than I've been. Thanks Don and Melissa!)

Then We'd Have to Kill You

I held off announcing that Stephan was out of town last week because for once, I craved privacy. He left straight from Billings to Altanta, where he was whisked away to a military base. He spent four days learning about what it would be like if a large-scale disaster happened in our small town. Who would do what? What systems need to be in place? How many patients can a staff of 6 with a 4-bed Emergency Room handle in six hours (the answer is about 120)? Where do you put dead bodies when the morgue only holds two at a time (the answer is a refrigerated ice-cream truck)?

That's about all I can say about it. Public information about what he learned is available here, here, and here.

ALSO.... THIS JUST IN!!!

We've discovered the secret (no pun intended) to deodorant. I've been bothered for a while about the whole, "aluminum in antiperspirant" thing, and I was looking for something that didn't have preservatives, artificial fragrances, or cost more than $10.00 for one stick! Here's the answer:

2TBS Apple cider vinegar
2TBS Witch hazel
5 drops Rosemary essential oil

Mix those together in a tupperware, or glass jar, and use a cotton ball to apply it under your arms. It'll be a little more wet than you're used to, but both Stephan and I tried it out yesterday as we did our triathlon workouts, and both of us were amazed. No B.O. At. All. Amazing.

"Very Likable"

We did it!! In a little under two months we managed to raise all the money we'll need to get to Honduras and help make a dent in the healthcare system. THANK YOU!!

Really I should say YOU did it! We never imagined we had such generous supportive friends. Ok, we did have a clue, that's why we asked... but the little thank you notes I sent out don't nearly cover the HUGE sense of thankfulness and gratitude we feel. You guys rock.

And, to the person who keeps trying to spam my blog with comments that include links which would cause my readers' computers to download some nasty virus: Thank you for thinking that my blog is very likable. Now stop.

On a Scale of 1-10

- or -

Why Anna is a sucker.


Last Wednesday we were both off of work together and decided to take a walk. Someone had expressed interest in letting me bottle feed some calves, so we were going to walk out to their ranch. We put some raviolis in the microwave for a quick lunch, but the doorbell rang. We assumed it was our Ranch Host.

It was not. It was a young-ish woman with a candle in her hand. She mumbled something about being from somewhere in Western Montana, and wanting practice for a business thing cleaning the floor. Stephan looked at me. I looked at him, hoping he would step in and say something like "we're on our way out." But he didn't. And here is where I'm a sucker.

She and a little friend walked in with a large vacuum cleaner, a Kirby (even their website is designed to sucker you in). She spent 10 minutes assembling it while Stephan and I ate lunch, and watched the time tick away. We were supposed to be at the ranch in 30 minutes

The next 45 minutes went badly.

"On a scale of 1-10, how clean do you want your house to be?"

Ugh. Here's a fact. We have hard wood floors. We have one area rug that's about 5'x8'. That's it. It was a wonderful machine. Pretty. With a great warranty. After she was talking for about 20 minutes Stephan stepped in with, "So how much does this thing run?"

"Well... um... my manager will be here in a minute to make you an offer, but, um, they are... um... the cost is $2160".

Cue jaws dropping.

Cue us getting our hiking boots on when the Ranch Host calls us wondering where we are.

Cue "Manager" arriving and asking us if there was any amount of money he could say that would get us to buy the vacuum. "Will it cook dinner twice a week?"

"No."

"Have a nice day!"

Where've You Been?!

Ok. I'm back... but where did we go?

Stephan signed up last minute to help out with an ATLS (Advanced Trauma Life Support) class in Billings Thursday-Saturday. I was bummed, since I had to work on Thursday and Friday. BUT Thursday night Stephan called me and asked if I would mind coming to Billings on Saturday and get made-up to look like a trauma victim.

So... get to put on makeup and lay on a table pretending to be sick all day?

It's the part I was born to play.

You can see the only photo takenhere. The look on my face was actually trying to imitate a much earlier photo which can be viewed here. Thanks to Jimmy for uploading.

Since We Weren't Really THAT Busy...

We signed up to train for a triathlon. It's really just the training, not the actual race. But we do have goal distances: 1/2 mile swim, 13 mile bike, and a 3.2 mile run in one day. In three months, that actually seems doable.

But what does Stephan do (because he's the one that spends so much time on the couch)?? He uses his new internet skilz to look up the Iron Man distances. 26 mile run, 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike.

Thanks, babe. Thanks a lot.

Gasping for Air

Laughing, people, laughing.

In Stephan's search for internet-things he stumbled on this blog,(ignore the boring posts, read about life in the ER) which, today, led me to this amazing gift idea. Finally, a place to buy scrubs that doesn't assume that men who wear scrubs are gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Who Knew?

Cows have four udders (this we know from movies, etc.) but only one calf will suck at a time, even if the cow gave birth to twins.

Sheep often give birth to twins or even triplets, but they only have two 'udders'. Again, only one will suck at a time.

Sheep only have two.

Who knew that?

Come on, comment and tell me who knew. Because I was sure surprised.

If You Know, You Know

Me: Why are you smiling so big like that?

Him: Like what?

Me: With your elbow above your head.

Him: I'm practicing.

Me: Practicing for what?

Him: For being really cool when I get old. [patient's name withheld] sat like this all the time, and he was really cool. So maybe if I sit like this, I'll be really cool too.

When Words Get in the Way

Him: Shooting things with firearms?

Me: Yes. Targets.

Him: Then it should say targets, not things.

Me: Targets are things.

Him: How about just "shooting firearms"... or is that letting the truth get in the way of a good story?

Me: Okay. Do I have to tell them the truth about the night at the bar?

Him: Yes, because you didn't actually say "Are we drinking or what, you p***y."

Me: What did I say?

Him: "Are we drinking or what you f***ing p***y!"

Me: I did not.

Him: Yes, you did.

Me: NO way.

Him: Who was sober? You?

Me: No.

I actually accidently skipped the one-year anniversary of this. Sorry.

And, come to read about it, how far have I come from this?? Thinking about it, there are a LOT of things I can do now (or am better at) since moving here. Here's a short list:

1. Cooking
2. Shooting things with firearms
3. Processing game meat
4. Household Budgets
5. Running a Business

You're all very welcome by the way. I know how much you don't appreciate a poorly crafted April Fool's Joke- so I just skipped it.