Roommates and Friends

I'm starting this post with the non-offensive story first. Warning: After this story, things start to get real.

We got a hamster last week. Here is a list of things about hamsters you may not know:

1. Hamster is German for Hoarder. They hoard their food and it's kind of adorable.

2. Sawyer named the hamster Sweetie (which he pronounces Schweedie).

3. I totally love Sweetie. Watching her is more relaxing than anything else in the world.

4. I have never touched Sweetie.

5. I am scared to death of hamsters.


So having Sweetie in the house is a lot like those old episodes of Maury Povich (before paternity tests were so popular) where hypnotists treated people with phobias. I can watch her, but just the thought of her tiny face or claws touching my skin makes me start twitching. I'll keep you guys updated- but so far I love her from afar.

Now, here's where parents, and those under 18, should turn away. It's an Overheard: text message edition.

Me: :d

Me: I don't know what that is.

Clare: Tape mouth?

Me: It's a lower case d. So.... dickface?

Clare: But it looks like a roll of scotch tape. Dickface is more like :<>

Me: That's a vagina.

Clare: :<3 p="">
Me: :8=o

Clare: Yeas!

Me: I just handed the phone to Stephan and said, "We are trying to make a penis face. Help me." and he refused to look at the phone. He said he's glad I have you for a friend.

Clare: I feel like if he meant that HE'D BE HELPFUL!

Clare: Sometimes I also feel like if we posted our text conversations directly to a blog we'd be millionaires. With less friends, because of the smack we talk.

Me: Now he's doubting our collective creativity.

Clare: He's such a poser.

Me: I can post it, but it's a little racy for my running friends.

Clare: No. Don't post it on your blog. It should be its own anonymous nonsense.

Me: :-3=>

Clare: That's a dude with balls for a nose.

Me: I'm laughing so hard I'm snorting.

Clare: DO NOT GOOGLE HOW TO TEXT A DICKFACE!!!!!!!

Faces of Winter

Stephan is training for a spring marathon. So... that's happening. His long run this week was a 9 mile, but with his schedule being what it was, he ran it from 9pm-10:30pm (and without an accurate GPS, he ended up running 10 miles).

Yes, running shorts over windproof pants.

Sexy eyes. Er, if you ignore the ice.

I am training for... nothing really. Maybe a spring 1/2. But maybe not. I don't know. I should run something. Sigh. I AM still focused on running my 10 miles a week, which has been really hard considering the streets around here. Wednesday's planned run got shelved for an hour of shoveling. I was so angry by the end of it I considered running in my boots and Carhartt, but the streets weren't plowed, so I'd be slogging through ankle-deep slush. I took a picture...

Angry face. 

So when the temperature slid back into the single digits I S'dIU and threw on layers and layers and layers and ran 4 this morning. It wasn't fun. But I was so happy to be out doing the deal, I, again, took a picture!

  

Bundled, but happy!

I've only turned in 7 miles so far this week, but dang it- I'm sticking to this!! 

Blogging the Truth

Running long runs with my husband rarely works. During marathon training we would get into at least one fight an hour. During the Soldier Field 10 Mile race we actually made runners around us feel uncomfortable with our bickering. By the time we get home everything is fine... however...

I've told him that he talks too much while running.

Case study: this week's 5 mile run in the slush and ice of a gently warming midwestern morning. Honestly, I wore 'cute pants' instead of 'smart pants' and was chafing only a mile into it. When I start to get miserable, I go inside my head for motivation. At the same time, Stephan begins practicing his stand-up routines. I lose my focus, start getting angry, and then just give up and walk.

Then he starts checking in with me every few minutes, requiring me to list out loud my various miseries... which brings them into sharp focus, and then... I just give up and walk.

The entire 5 miles he kept laughing at how frustrated I was getting by his constant bird-like chatter. He threatened to post the blog himself. He laughed, and acknowledged that I don't do well while he talks... and he kept talking!!

I'm still amazed we survived 6.5 hours (26.2 miles) of running straight together. Actually, I'm amazed I haven't learned my lesson by now!!

LOL

Every few months or so I check on the stats for the blog. This week something hysterical happened:

Can you see it? Someone actually searched, "prefer soapsuds to fleet enema" and came up with my blog. I know exactly which blog post this points to... and, honestly, it is much more about the daily life of the spouse-of-a-nurse than anything to do with medical advice.

I hope that person found a real answer to their question.

X-Training Like a Boss

Uuuuuugggghhhhhhh. MMmmmmmuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhh. Sssssssssssssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuu.

I don't cross train. I see it on the schedule when I'm training for events, but I just assume the X means "do nothing" on those days. And R means "rest a lot". But Stephan started training for the Tough Mudder in September. I downloaded a two page training workout and posted it in the basement. He headed down there one afternoon and I figured I'd be supportive and hold the stopwatch for him. Each exercise is done for only one or two minutes.

I also enjoyed reading ahead and being able to demonstrate the moves for a few seconds so he wouldn't have to figure things out on his own. After the first 10 minutes I started chiming in with encouragement like, "Why are you breathing so hard?" and, "You're almost done. You should pick up the pace." If he could have spoken I think he would have told me to get off the couch and start spider-web climbing myself. But I was in comfy clothes. I didn't want to sweat in them.

So I took up the challenge myself yesterday, albeit, with a custom playlist of 1 and 2 minute songs spaced perfectly so I would know when to change exercises. And guys, I can't move. First of all, I barely survived the workout. It seemed insane that 60 seconds could hurt so badly. But holding a 60 second squat? Fire. Two straight minutes of shoulders-up-only jumping jacks? Puke-inducing. My calves are so tender right now, sitting in a chair is causing cramps. Don't get me wrong. I love it (see previous entries about mental illness). I just didn't expect something as simple as a 45 minute interval workout to so totally kick my ass.

Well played, exercise. Well played.

Overheard: Moments before falling asleep

Him: Come over here.
Me: No. You come here. You're closer to me than I am to you.
[insert 15 minutes of uncontrollable laughter]

Overheard: Shots

Me: ... So how is whisky different from Scotch?

Him: Um, Scotch is whisky.

Me: Then what is bourbon?

Him: How are you an adult?

Decisions

A potential-newbie-runner said this to me:

"I was going to go to the shoe store, but something happened. I think I took a nap."

Ahhh. Yes. The "nap". It seems really weird that so often the choice comes down to napping or running. If you're a morning runner, extending sleep looks mighty temping most mornings. If you're a daytime runner, that 30-45 minutes would be PERFECT for a little feet-up time. And evening runners... well those people are just nuts. Or not parents. Or really REALLY lucky to miss the 4-5pm witching hour.

**But yes, Jedi, "Do. Or Do Not. There is no try." The Nap or the Run. I would argue that napping does not reflect poorly on you. But running when you feel like napping is one of the things that makes a person a capitol R = Runner.

I trained for a marathon during the first year of my son's life by exclusively forgoing "sleeping when the baby sleeps" and relishing a two hour run. At some point in the development of a Runner they realize that they actually feel BETTER after running than they do after napping.

Case in point: I had a bad day. The kind of bad day that ended with me curled up on top of the blankets on my bed with tears in my eyes. Stephan took one look and told me to get my shoes on.

"No. Leave me here. I need to wallow."

He wouldn't take wallowing as an alternative. He pressed the shoes against my hands, threw headphones at me, and told me to just get out of the house. I pouted. I have a permanent crease in my forehead because of how devastatingly mopey I was. But, yeah, I did it. I ran the hell out of 2 miles. And I felt great when I got home.



**Edited to input an actual quote from Star Wars because my husband had a small seizure when he read my original "pathetic attempt" and misquotation. He's fine now. Not to worry.

9pm Coffee

That's not a typo. It's 9pm. We just brewed a pot of coffee. And no, it's not Stephan's night to work. He is, however, writing a paper. It's the first time during this program (turning him from a simple MS/RN into a FNP/ENP [Family Nurse Practitioner/Emergency Nurse Practitioner]) that the two of us are up late working together to write a paper. It's a paper about the medical needs and considerations of refugees.

He hates this part.

I LOVE this part. I have pages and pages of paper torn out of notebooks. Each has its own heading: Definition. Culture (and women). Culture (resettlement). The sources are cited on the first line. The publishing organization is on the second. Applicable abbreviations on the following lines, and a summary of the article or relevant statistics drip down the pages. It's beautiful. It's so organized. I practically take notes in APA format.

I LOVE this part. I have to admit- the saddest fact of being a theater arts major (with a focus on lighting design) is the lack of papers I had to compile. I took elective classes like I was Undecided just to expand my publishing potential. One of my proudest moments was taking a line from Simon and Garfunkle to title a paper about the woes of remodeling architectural masterpieces without regard to the original designer's intent or body of work: So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright (the central example was the Guggenheim Museum in New York).

We have an agreement: when Stephan graduates it's going to be my turn. The hard part will be picking my new major!!

Untrue

I've led you guys back to Marc Parent a few times. Yesterday's January edition of Runner's World came in the mail and I skipped ahead to his article first. I can't find a link to it right now, but it was about spouses running together.

And it was very gentle. It doesn't really reflect the truth Stephan and I live with. The truth is... we can't race together. We've tried it a few times. Even training together, or running together, we usually end up fighting. Example: The Soldier Field 10 Mile. This race was a birthday present from Stephan to celebrate our 5 year anniversary. 5 years is apparently the 'stadium blanket and race medal' anniversary.

Prologue- Stephan runs comfortably at 8:30 minutes per mile. My cruising speed is about 11 m/m, 12 if I'm cranky.

Chapter 1- The run starts out great. It's a little boring, being essentially an out-and-back down Lake Shore Drive. We turn the corner at mile 5. Then get to mile 7, and I get cranky. I slow down. I think Stephan should really just run ahead. Why am I holding him back? I don't like being pushed.

Chapter 2- We start talking. "Go ahead. Leave me here." "Just keep running." "And another thing, you left your socks on the floor again." "Why are you talking about this now?" "I hate running with you." "Stop making me go faster." "Then tell me to slow down."

Chapter 3- I astop running and start walking... stomping really. The run/walk pace team passes us, and everyone gives us dirty looks. They give us a wide berth. We walk in silence for 2 miles.

Chapter 4- At mile 9 we turn a corner into the Soldier Field parking lot. I start getting choked up at how supportive Stephan always is. How proud I am to run alongside him. How selfless he is when it comes to my hobbies and my health. I would never have started running if it wasn't for him. I would not be continuing to run without his support.

Chapter 5- We cross the finish line holding hands and smiling.

Postlude- After publicly fighting during 3 races, Stephan and I decide it's best not to race together for a while. Mr. Parent doesn't cover any of this in his essay. That's ok. I did it for him.

Overheard: In the Morning

Me: Can I give you lunch money in all 1's?

Him: Sure.

Me: Can I give you $17 in 1's?

Him: Yeah, but any more than ten 1's necessitates a trip to the strip club.

Me: Can I give you ten 1's and a 5?

Him: Sure. That's at least a Fantasy Club visit.

Me: I'm giving you no money. I would like you not to be surprised by that.

Dim Sum

-or-

A post about a lot of little things.


Alrighty people. Go getcha selves a cupa tea. This one is gonna be a doozie.


First. Zombies. Several of the Zombie transmissions are recorded under the premis that the person talking has no idea if there's anyone listening. They're talking and letting their ideas out into the universe without knowing if they're being received. Sometimes I feel like that. I type words. I hit "Publish." And then.... I have no idea what happens after that. I know I've picked up a few readers from my activity on the Runner's World Facebook page... and it's possible my family might still have saved the link. But... I don't know. Echo... tap tap... is this thing on?

Second. Scoring a different game. Cancer was a big deal. I was 29. It was Melanoma- the deadliest form of skin cancer. I loved the sun. I actually had a tanning package at the time because it helped me ward off the winter blahs. With one punch-biopsy my life changed. No more sun. Gotta lose weight. Check ups every 3 months, then every 6 months for the next ten years. I wasn't going to take Cancer laying down. I "shut up and put my shoes on." Cancer changed my game, and I rose to meet the challenge.

Third. Acceptance. (Which I realize should have been the first step... but whatever.) The morning I was waiting on the phone call from the doctor about my current Cancer condition I had my game face on. I was ready. I wrote a manifesto about it. It was titled, "If it's Cancer..." The good news: it wasn't Cancer. The bad news... later that day I showed up to an appointment with a psychotherapist. This wasn't my first appointment. I was feeling pretty invincible after getting the good news. I felt great. By the end of our 50-minute hour I walked out of the office with a brand-new diagnosis: bipolar II.

I know, I know. I've heard it all in the last few weeks...
"Aren't all women bipolar?"
"Well, there's something wrong with everyone..."
"This sounds made-up."
"If that's what's wrong with you- I wonder what's wrong with me??"
"Yeah, I knew that. How did you not know that?"
"That's crap. The therapist's kids must need braces."

Regardless of what anyone in the world says, this disease kills 20% of the people who have it. And that number rises with several factors. And many of those factors apply to me. So I can't blow this off. I gotta do bipolar with the same gusto as I would have done Cancer. I can't ignore 20%.

What's the care-plan for bipolar II?
For now, we as a family, are choosing against pharmaceuticals. The therapist told us that this is NOT recommended. This is definitely a different path for this diagnosis. But we're ok with that. Stephan is a medical professional. We really trust our therapist. We're not going into this blindly. At the first sign of the Alternative Medicine failing we're getting back onto the med-train. But for now, this week, we're focusing on three things: Sleep, Eating, Exercise.

I'm supposed to write down how I'm doing in each of those three categories and bring it to my next session. Of course, this is ME we're talking about, so I've already created a 'tool' to measure how I'm doing using numerical values so I can compare them on a spreadsheet over the next few weeks.

So, there you go, Internet (or echo, or whatever). That's what's going on with Anna lately. It does make the, "Just be Anna" directive a little more complicated. "Anna" feels a little under construction at the moment. Stay tuned for updates.

Six "Hey!" M

(get it? Like, 6am, but with "Hey!" instead of A?)

We've undergone a dramatic schedule shift in our household. The net result was that Stephan and I now spend at least 4 hours in the same bed at the same time EVERY NIGHT. It's weird. It's been 3 years since that's happened. He used to work from 7pm - 7am and we were all awake by the time he got home. Now he gets home at 4am, and the whole family is asleep for a few hours.

So what do I do with this new wonderful gift?

I use it to go for early 6am runs. When Sawyer lost his afternoon nap I lost my run. Now I can join those thousands of insane people who wake up in a quiet house and dodge morning rush-hour traffic, school busses, cranky teenagers, and finish off a 4 or 6 before anyone even wakes up.

I'm happy this is working out.

I'm stunned at what 6am feels like to my body.

Finishing on the 50...

A 10 Mile race is not nearly as stressful as a 26 mile race... but getting downtown, making sure I have everything I need for Stephan, Sawyer, and myself. What time do we need to check into the corrals? Which corral should we be in? Do we need gear-check? Where will we meet our family at the end?

And all of it will be over this time tomorrow. Crazy. I'm super excited, super nervous, and super pumped to be back on the 50 yard line where this whole crazy ride started!!

Overheard: Looking at his cell phone

Him: Kodie just sent me a chain mail.

Me: A chain mail?

Him: Yes.

Me: A chain letter?

Him: YES!

Me: Junk mail?

Him: YES!!!!

Me: Huh. Chain mail.

Overheard: Standing over a pile marked "Good Will"

Me: Can I give away your skirt?

Him: Well, what if we move to the South Pacific? I'll get to wear skirts again.

Me: You wore this skirt?

Him: Yes. Well... only a couple times here in the States and I got a lot of funny looks.


So there's a cute floor-length sundress at the GoodWill on Rand Rd if you want it.

Did you think the house ate us?

Red, with a hat on.

Well, it almost did. After two full weeks of chipping, filling, sanding, and painting and painting and painting and re-painting the trim since the original color really did look like baby-puke, believe me, I’ve seen baby puke recently, the bedroom is finally finished! When Stephan got home from work we trekked out to the garage and brought in the dressers. That was made especially exciting since it was pitch dark, and the yard is full of pot holes.

Next is the bathroom paint, which should go fairly quickly, if we both agree that purple is the way to go in that room.

Stephan has been working his butt off, almost literally. Last week his only day off was Thursday, and now this week his only day off is Wednesday. That’s a touch schedule for anyone, but he works from 5:30am to 7:30pm or later. Recently he’s admitted that there isn’t time for him to eat anything during the day. I’m having an IV put in him tomorrow so he can just take straight glucose into his bloodstream. He still does like the job, and especially the people, but he’s tired, and overworked, and tired.

I had a great day on Saturday at a Spirit of Women event. It’s a group sponsored by the hospital that educates women about their health, and has a ton of fun. I met a few dozen women, got 23 of them on the chair, and gave away a 60-minute massage as a door prize. Everyone was so kind and friendly, as if we’d known each other for years. AND I got to hear a lot of town gossip. I’m really excited to start taking clients. I got a phone call this morning that my LLC paperwork is ready to be signed- that’s exciting too! We still don’t have internet access at home, which is a lot less exciting, but they say sometime next week the guy will be over to hook it up.

The dogs are good. Besa is green on her right side, from deciding to lean against the wall and slide down it to get comfortable. And just today I saw that Red has orange wiskers. I can only imagine.

Trivia: (kind of) What are the answers to the following: “Never marry a parts man because________.” “Never marry a nurse because ____________.” “Never marry a teacher because ______________.”

The Farm

It's true that a large part of Montana smells like cows and farms. Most of the people we meet here are involved in some way in the farming or ranching business. Our visit to Cindy and Larry's farm on Saturday was amazing. We met a herding dog, which wasn't really trained, he just knew how to help seperate and herd them. We saw, of course, the new calves and their heiffer moms (heiffer means a cow who is giving birth for the first time). There were peacocks roaming around, chickens walking to and fro, and about two dozen barn cats (that we didn't see but just heard about). Oh, and the horses. There were horses there that are actually used to herd cattle. Larry is really a cowboy. He rides "Red" his horse around to check on the cows. Some people have lambs, which, I'm told, usually have twins. It's where the phrase, "the third lamb" comes from. You know that phrase, don't you? No? I didn't either.

Of course there were the turkeys from the other day- we see antelope all the time as well as deer. I haven't yet seen any squirrels. I don't know if we have them here. We do have rattle snakes apparently, and they tell me to just make sure I don't stick my hands where I can't see, and wear shoes every time I go outside.

Larry offered to show Stephan how to break horses, since he has a few that need breaking. I'm nervous about that, but Stephan can't wait. Life on the farm promises to be really interesting. More photos will be on their way, I'm sure!

Trivia: How many seconds do we have to hold the lever down on our toilet before it flushes?

Stephan's First Day...

As a nurse by himself on the floor! Since the Montana license came through yesterday, he was able to go out on his own today with no supervision. Here's what he has to say about his first official day as a nurse....

Ouch! I wish the words were coming to me, but after a whirlwind 14 hours, I'm fried. I had 8 patients today...all day. For some reason, two got parked in the ER. Luckily, no other ERs came in today...cuz we only got two beds in the ER. Anyways, everyone was very helpful and I was only about a step behind all day. I made some mistakes, but in the immortal words of my dear old dad..."not bad for a rookie." I got lots to learn, and I look forward to the day when the learning curve isn't quite so steep, but I've found a good place to learn with good people. The variety of patients and conditions is a challenge too. Today I helped take care of a person w/heart palpitations, another suffering from seizures, two people w/emphysema, one patient w/terminal MS, one w/a bum gall bladder, and a patient w/possible brain swelling. Needless to say, I'm looking up a lot of drugs, asking a lot of questions, and wearing out the soles of my shoes.
I gotta get to bed so I can try again tomorrow.

There are other funny stories he's not telling you because he only types with two fingers and we don't have all night. We got the Illinois license in the mail this morning, and are slowly making progress on the scholarship application. It's something I didn't even imagine would be a possibility this time last week. We're sending thank you cards to the people at both the Montana and Illinois licensing boards who helped get this all done. We don't live in our house yet- maybe this weekend!

FAQ: How do we get a hold of you?

Well, there are a few ways! You can always email us, though Stephan is notoriously bad at responding to electric mail. You can write us a letter to the PO Box, which is listed at the bottom of the page, or you can call us. Now, the deal with the phones is this- when we got to Baker we realized that we get no service here- not one single bar. So we hopped over to Laurie at Mid Rivers and got new cell phones, and new cell phone numbers. Unfortunately, we can't find our old phone chargers, so our phone books are sitting helplessly inside our dead-battery phones.

I know there are many people Stephan would love to talk to, but he's lost the phone numbers, and until we can dig out the chargers from our packed stuff, we don't know how to call you! If you'd like our phone numbers, please email me and I will be happy to send out the number, but for privacy reasons (and piracy reasons) I'm not posting them on the website. I'm sure you understand.


We have plenty of updates for you- The Director of the Montana Nurses' Association personally called me to tell me Stephan's new MT license number. Hurray!!! And now all we have to do is put together the scholarship application! Thanks again to everyone who was sending prayers and good thoughts. I think they really helped soften the hearts of those working at the Illinois State offices.

We moved a lot of our stuff over into the Plevna garage today, with the help of Matt and Kayle's truck. Woo hoo.

The garage we were keeping our stuff in flooded when everything thawed, so Stephan's brag book and all my Healing Touch documentation are sitting out to dry. We'll see later what is salvageable. I have photos, but my camera is being bad right now.

I applied for a business license in the State of Montana today to start my very own LLC here! The name I applied with is Anjali. It is the name of the gesture that often is associated with the Sanskrit greeting, Namaste. The prayerful nature of the name, and my logo, should help me maintain a respectful attitude toward all my patients and clients.

Stephan works Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week- from 6am-6pm. Long days, but rewarding. Hopefully after this weekend we'll be moved into the house! If anyone sees a cute "The Korubas" sign, please forward it to me, we'd like something other than the Bears Flag to stake our claim in Montana.

I almost forgot! Trivia: How did George Armstrong Custer rank in his class when he graduated from West Point? (I made this one easy, there are PRIZES people!)