New Activity Tracker

This post is NOT sponsored. I was not given anything free to write up my assessment of this product. Here are the features of my new activity/mood tracker (yes!! it tracks my moods!! Read on!):


-Makes a loud noise if I sit still for too long
-Provides detailed back and arm-strength weight training
-Requires me to walk several miles a day at a very moderate pace
-Becomes very hostile if I start to get stressed
-Demands resting at regular intervals in a quiet place
-Encourages dressing and presenting myself as-is... no faking 'awake' with mascara

I think you get the idea. This baby has taught me more about my patterns of daily living than any wrist-bound tool I've ever heard of. If I just go with his demands, we are all much happier.

Bringing Sexy... out to the back yard

Core Work. Blaauhhhggg. I've never ever ever actually done core work. I've read articles about it. I've wondered if it would be a good idea. I've decided it would be a good idea. But in all the time I've been alive, I've never done core work.

Truth: In college I spent about a year weightlifting pretty seriously. At my best, I could squat more than 200lbs. At the time, I weighed less than 120. Yay me! But... no core work. I skipped abs and back. Because.... I don't know why.

So now that I'm into week 4 of 12 in the MuTu System (short for Mummy Tummy) I'm fully aware of how not-fun this is. And how NOT sexy the "lamp post pee" and the "lift and squeeze" are. It's small movements, little tweaks, over and over again. Core work is restructuring the supportive muscles in the torso and trunk. It's replacing the studs and floorboards of a house from inside the walls. Not. Easy.

All I want to do is run again. So maybe this is perfect motivation to actually finish the program. I want my shoes back. My sweat. My counting mile after mile. And a t-shirt. I really need a new "free" tshirt.

No One Asked Me

I'm about to rant because I feel like I can't protect my baby, and that is a terrible feeling.

Here's the deal. We are healthy, proactive people in our house. Yes, I worked hard to prepare for completely natural child birth(s). And yes, I nursed Sawyer until after his first birthday, and I'm on-track to do the same for Adam. We eat minimally processed food (mostly)- lately more vegetarian than meat-focused. Since I'm home so often, I do my best to avoid fast and processed food (but sometimes we eat at McDonalds). We take vitamins (almost every day). We drink water (but sometimes soda).

And Stephan is a primary care provider. And I'm a massage therapist. We don't do a lot of pain-killers here. We avoid antibiotics (Sawyer has never had them). And I made all my own baby food.

AND I VACCINATED MY G-D D-MN KIDS!!!!! So why am I hiding in my house to keep my baby safe? I can't protect him from everything. But I thought we, as a people, had this vaccination thing down. Was I nervous about shooting drugs into my first baby? Yes! So I read books, journal articles, and talked to doctors. Armed with all of that information, Stephan and I were confident that what we were told by the government and our doctors was sound.

I just want my baby to be healthy. People are deciding things based on incomplete, or just plain wrong information, and their decisions could have a terrible effect on my baby. It makes me so mad. Sorry for the rant- I just needed to type through this one.

Woke Up Tired

I had a dream that I was running the Boston Marathon. When I got to the finish line, two of my friends were there. They told me I wasn't smiling enough in my finish line photos, and gave me tips for fun things to do so the pictures would turn out better. And they sent me back to try it all again.

Funny Hair

Remember that time you did that thing and it worked out fine? Yeah, me neither. But that doesn't mean it's never happened. It just means that those aren't the memorable times in life. Case in point: the entire month of February, 2007.

I brought this idea up to Stephan the other day when he asked if I had called the college admissions guy back. Eh? Yeah. The guy who knows where I can take the pre-req classes I would need to apply to the Masters/PhD program in Psychological Science that I've been lusting after.

And it came to me that no one ever had a great story about the 5 years they kept the laundry done and the dishes clean. There hasn't been a biography about a woman who learned to roast almonds and spend less than $75 a week on groceries.

So I'm talking myself into actually leaving the house and finding a higher purpose. Vacuuming is nice. But let's pile up some good stories.

Mary v Martha

(In which the blog takes a turn no one saw coming!!)

I'm giving up. (again) Today was too hard. The plan was to clean the house, grocery shop, and prep a meal for tomorrow. None of those things happened. In the 14 hours since I woke up, exactly one room was vacuumed, and many more dirty clothes and dishes were created than were cleaned. At every turn I was thwarted by a screaming baby, a tantrumming 5-year-old, puking cat, hungry baby, hungry 5-year-old, dogs that needed to go out, and then come in, and on and on and on. I fought my way through the day, harder and more determined after every set back.

The baby finally fell asleep at 9:30pm, and I was excited to put him down and make some headway. But then, I looked at him for the first time today and noticed how much he looks like a Hobbit when he's asleep.

What did I miss today? How many adorable giggles and smiles passed by while I struggled to load the dishwasher one-handed? What amazing observations did Sawyer make today that I missed because I was listening to podcasts while picking up toys? Did the boys snuggle together? Did Sawyer make funny faces to entertain his brother? Did Adam make progress on the crawling initiatives? I don't know. I was fighting too hard against life today to actually realize I was living it.

That's a shitty regret. Also, it's supported by this bible passage I've always hated.
[BIBLE?? WTF Anna?]

Luke 10:38-42

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

"You are worried about many things, but few things are needed..." 

I've always hated this passage because it's the only time I've thought Jesus was totally wrong. Of course Martha needed to clean and prepare. There's SO MUCH to do! And a responsible person, who is hard-working and worthy, does it all. Don't we? We're ready for guests. Our house is clean. Toys put away. We aren't just sitting down hanging out. We're working!!

Sometimes I think that, if there is a hell, it's a place where you are forced to watch all the times you lived life checked-out, and missed the wonderful, beautiful moments. You'll see yourself driving and being angry instead of watching the amazing colors the sky is turning. You'll see yourself on the phone with a friend complaining about your kids while your kids are nose-to-nose on the floor laughing at each other. The nights spent with your spouse watching tv in separate rooms because you don't like the same shows. And you'll know you can never get that time back- that you wasted so much time doing instead of being with all the gifts given specifically to you. 

I'm super-guilty of all of this. But I'm hoping acceptance is truly the first step to changing it. 

If Nothing Changes....

... then nothing's going to change!

Why, hello there Blog people! It's been a while. We are still dealing with Stephan's parents on a weekly basis, driving out and back to review medicines, visit with nurses, check-in on physical therapy- so that's been keeping us muy busy for the last two weeks. So busy, I haven't had much time to rant and rave about resolutions, and then completely disobey my own advice and make resolutions.

What I have noticed lately is that the running isn't coming together the way I was hoping. There are a list of post-natural-birth symptoms that my body hasn't really recovered from. So I read a blog post from a virtual friend all about core strength, and started doing a bit of research.

Turns out, it's totally normal and almost expected that core strength isn't going to come back simply by wishing on stars and putting on running shoes. Also, kegels aren't actually the end-all-be-all exercise. It's just not that simple. There are more muscles involved in stabilizing the pelvis. Lots more muscles (which - duh - I should have realized as a massage therapist). SO many things attach to those dang hip bones.

And those pictures aren't even all of it!! Considering how the body totally contorts itself to make room for (and eventually shoot out) a baby, it's more than reasonable to take some extra time to realign everything. 

Which is why I signed up for MuTu. It's a 12-week program of core exercise videos, diet suggestions, and activity guidelines that seems to be right up my alley. ("Seems" because I signed up last night and started the first day this afternoon)

I'll keep you updated- if it works, it'll be awesome and totally worth it (the $97!!!). If it doesn't, well, at least I tried something different!!