Friday, October 17, 2014


I had a baby 5 weeks ago tonight (actually, as I write this, it was exactly 5 weeks ago that my water broke, and three hours later, on September 13th, a baby came out). It was incredible. It was amazingly fast, amazingly intense, and amazingly amazing.

And that was the last time I remember seeing the world clearly. Adam was born at 12:45am. Stephan and I slept that morning from about 4am-6am. And I haven't gotten more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep since then. It's really my only complaint at this point.

We have an adorable, perfectly healthy, baby boy!! Sawyer is thrilled. Heck, even the dogs like him! I'm exclusively nursing right now, which is another miracle. Honestly, everything about having a baby is mind-blowing. I just grew a human. In my body. And he's cute! And all he drinks is milk. Can you stand it? Isn't that nuts?

Also, have I mentioned the sleep deprivation? And with the lack of sleep comes a constant bouncing/rocking because Adam has a touch of colic. But only from 7pm-6am. Ha! I was joking with Stephan that I needed to write an email, but the computer refused to bounce with me. I ended up typing it one-handed on my phone.

Most of the bouncing we do on a balance ball. It's the best invention for baby soothing ever!! With bonus core work for me (for a few minutes at a time- I get achy quickly).

So that's my world right now. Eat, poop, feed, bounce, make a vague attempt at sleep. I'm completely jonesing for a run- but that's out of the question until I get checked on by the doc, and my pelvis stabilizes in my body... it's really just sloshing around in there right now.

And... bonus baby picture!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

38.5 weeks

I'm.... tired. Not physically sleepy, but the last 48 hours have just about done me in. I stressed myself out yesterday worrying about things and that kicked off an entire day of contractions, spaced evenly 8-5 minutes apart, but with some 30+ minute gaps. And they never got stronger, or closer than 5 minutes. Maneuvers were made- children were brought to our house, then brought to other houses. Bags were packed. The infant car seat made it into the car with the birth plan, deodorant and tooth brushes.

And then at 10pm, it all stopped. Once everything was ready to go, phone in-hand and OB office nearly dialed, it was over. The day of contractions ended. I fell asleep and had dreams all night about arriving at the hospital and having the baby. By the time I woke up in the morning I was exhausted from birthing the four babies I felt I had birthed overnight. After a slow morning of child-collecting and checking in with family, I insisted on a 2 mile walk.

I don't know what I thought was going to happen- but nothing did happen. So it's back to eating, drinking, peeing, and waiting waiting waiting.

It's not like it can go to college in there.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

36 weeks

Pregnancy is like marathon training. It's EXACTLY like marathon training. You have this thing that's going to happen in the future, and you have months to prepare for it. There are books to read, foods to eat, exercises to do (or not, whatevs)... Instead of increasing mileage, there's increasing pounds on top of your body. It just gets heavier, and harder to move around. But the harder it gets, the closer you know you are to the finish line.

Also- there's the one big push at the end. The hardest day is the last day. And it's coming. And you know it's coming. And you're kinda scared, and pretty excited, and you're not quite sure if you'll be able to handle it, but you really can't turn back now.

The main difference???? Scheduling. If I told you someone was going to come to your house with a bull-horn and announce the start of your marathon while you were sleeping, or working, or shopping, or driving- and you wouldn't know when... just a vague idea of sometime in the next 4 weeks.... and then ready... set... GO! Marathon! 26.2.

The second difference??? The actual mileage. Maybe labor will last 5 hours (yay!! Sawyer was so easy!) or 15 hours, or... sigh... possibly closer to 20-24 hours. You won't know until it's over how long it actually will be.

Another similarity... pulling the plug. What if something weird happens and they have to do a C-Section? Breech baby? Weird infection? You'll get a DNF (did not finish) for the laboring, but you'll still get your medal for trying.

More similarities: heat an humidity are enemies of both. You need new, life-event-specific clothes that won't really be applicable at any other time. Hydration is key, as is going with the flow: preparation will only get you so far during the actual performance.

Final similarity: you want pictures of the whole thing, but the pictures will come out kinda wonky due to sweating.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Overheard: 10pm

Him: I found your grocery list. And I'm going to go now. What else do we need?

Me: I dunno. Look at the list.

Him: It just says "chicken." I need you to be more specific.

Me: It's for your lunches.

Him: So we need lunch meat?

Me: No. You just need food for lunch. I don't care what it is.

Him: So we don't need chicken?

Me: Well.......... We don't HAVE any chicken.

[And he stared at me for several minutes before I broke down laughing so hard I thought I was going into labor. I wasn't.]

35 Weeks

I figure it's time for a real picture....
Yes, this is full-frontal at 34 weeks. It's why I think it's a boy!

Haha! See!! 34 weeks! I keep marveling at how the front-view is so different from the side-view......

34 weeks, side view. Stephan wants to invent a pregnancy L bracket.

I have tried to take a few walks lately- nothing more than one mile. I get all sweaty and exhausted. I've been doing the squats, 10 every time I go to the bathroom (which turns into a lot of squats!) Even though we have 5 more weeks- technically- I started to get nervous and I washed a bunch of clothes and diapers (we do cloth) and packed a hospital bag. The first time we did this, the Sawyer was born less than 5 hours after I started labor. The doctor predicted 1/2 the time for this one which leaves us... not a ton of time to gather resources.

Of course, saying that means it will be 3 days of labor. But I've started to see the light at the end of the feeling-terrible tunnel. A few more weeks and everything will be so different. I know I'll miss this a lot- the sitting- the ice cream- the one-on-one with Sawyer- the peace and "dwuiet" (that's what Sawyer calls it, it rhymes with quiet). 

It's also a quiet, weird type of confidence to know that I have all the tools to get back into shape as soon as I'm ready. Last time, I had never run a marathon, or followed a training plan, or been fitted for running shoes. I'm starting a lot further ahead this time than before. Also, sidewalks. And no snake season in the city. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Bad A$$ Mother....

I went for a walk!! Yay me!! A one mile, brought my water bottle with me, sucked it up and just freaking walk, walk. It felt really good. And it realigned my brain again, which I missed. Here's what my brain came up with today:

I still wear a necklace my sister-in-law bought me for my birthday. It says, Run. I kept wearing it to remind myself that I'm still a runner. There is still a runner, somewhere, deep inside all this pregnant-ness. And as I walked, I listened to my old running playlist that's filled with punk rock, heavy metal, rawrrrrrr music. And I thought, Yeah. That's still me. That's how I run, that's how I live, and that's how I'm going to have this new baby (we've been working a lot on labor and delivery plans this week).

When it was Sawyer's turn to be born, our doctor in Montana worked with us very closely to make sure we selected all the options we wanted so his birth was awesome for us. We knew we wanted music, but I couldn't decide what I would need to hear at the time. I had two playlists: one of Enya and New Age, and one of country and rock and roll. When she came into the room and the Zac Brown band was playing she stated simply, "Huh, that's not where I thought you'd go with this."

So anyway, being inspired by the dulcet tones of the White Stripes, I realized that what really defines me, what makes me a Runner, why I'm still tough (despite all of the resting and sitting), is desire. DESIRE. It's why Stephan claims he's not a runner, running is just something he does. He doesn't have the DESIRE.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Must... do.... the squats.....

As part of our Bradley Birthing classes I was assigned a weekly set of exercises. It includes butterfly stretches, kegels, and, every day, squats. It's week 2, so I have to do 15-20 squats a day.

You can do that in your sleep, right? That should take about 2 minutes, right?? Just get those out of the way before breakfast, right???

I'm terrible at the homework for this class. And those squats are my new nemesis. I'm writing about them so that maybe my public declaration will motivate me to just get them done. When Sawyer saw me practicing while holding onto the counter the other day he chimed in with, "Our sensei says you have to go lower. No, Mom. Lower. Lower..... yeah."

Sawyer is 4 and he's harassing me about my squats.

Giant shout-out to our amazing Bradley teacher Karalyn Voelkner, who has put everything together so it's super easy to keep track of everything (and super hard to be a slacker about it)