Thursday, October 23, 2014

Macaroni Pants

That's the punch line. Here's the joke:

Tuesday night we went to dinner and took Sawyer's leftover macaroni and cheese to-go in a small cardboard box. As we drove along after that, Adam got hungry and we had to stop in a parking lot for me to hop into the back of the car to nurse him. Not thinking, I sat on the box of mac and cheese- smashing it- and spilling it all over.

Today (Thursday) I was putting my clothes back on after my 6-week postpartum checkup and realized that I'd worn the [unwashed] Macaroni Pants all day. Was my shirt long enough to cover my butt? No, it was not. Was I wearing a jacket that might have covered my butt? No, I was not. Was I walking around a mall shopping? Yes. Was I prancing around the doctor's office showing off a baby? Yes, yes I was.

And was I still wearing those pants 6 hours later when my husband gently suggested it was time I change clothes and.... just maybe... put the pants in the laundry basket?

Yes. Yes I was.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Eat the Ice Cream for Breakfast

Pregnancy changes a lot of things about appetite. But that makes sense- you're growing a human. And gaining weight is an expected part of pregnancy. They go together. Eat more, get bigger. It's pretty much the point of the whole thing.

And then the baby comes out. And a lot of things change. They don't necessarily change back, but they change. Physically, all bets are off. If you look up the caloric requirements of pregnancy versus breastfeeding (oh, yeah, I'm doing that), you'll see that pregnancy requires an extra 300 calories, and breastfeeding requires about 500!!

So now I'm weirdly losing weight (in a good way) and eating more (in a weird way) and having food cravings more than I've ever had in my life. But it's a craving only for sugar and chocolate. So I've pillaged my freezer and cabinets, and maybe even found some old Easter candy. Once I ate through all the sugar and chocolate we had stocked in the house, I started doing really weird things to satisfy these cravings: eating chocolate chips out of the bag, making Dreamwhip and eating it, making vanilla pudding and adding pumpkin pie filling (ew!!). After witnessing these culinary machinations for the last few days, Stephan came home with ice cream.

He brought my favorite ice cream: AmeriCone Dream. And I ate some. And I slept well.

So now it's the next morning, and I'm thinking that maybe I should just give in immediately to the ice cream and have it for breakfast. I'll let you know how it goes.

(Also, my 6 week postpartum checkup is Thursday- here's hoping for the all-clear to start running agin!!)

Friday, October 17, 2014


I had a baby 5 weeks ago tonight (actually, as I write this, it was exactly 5 weeks ago that my water broke, and three hours later, on September 13th, a baby came out). It was incredible. It was amazingly fast, amazingly intense, and amazingly amazing.

And that was the last time I remember seeing the world clearly. Adam was born at 12:45am. Stephan and I slept that morning from about 4am-6am. And I haven't gotten more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep since then. It's really my only complaint at this point.

We have an adorable, perfectly healthy, baby boy!! Sawyer is thrilled. Heck, even the dogs like him! I'm exclusively nursing right now, which is another miracle. Honestly, everything about having a baby is mind-blowing. I just grew a human. In my body. And he's cute! And all he drinks is milk. Can you stand it? Isn't that nuts?

Also, have I mentioned the sleep deprivation? And with the lack of sleep comes a constant bouncing/rocking because Adam has a touch of colic. But only from 7pm-6am. Ha! I was joking with Stephan that I needed to write an email, but the computer refused to bounce with me. I ended up typing it one-handed on my phone.

Most of the bouncing we do on a balance ball. It's the best invention for baby soothing ever!! With bonus core work for me (for a few minutes at a time- I get achy quickly).

So that's my world right now. Eat, poop, feed, bounce, make a vague attempt at sleep. I'm completely jonesing for a run- but that's out of the question until I get checked on by the doc, and my pelvis stabilizes in my body... it's really just sloshing around in there right now.

And... bonus baby picture!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

38.5 weeks

I'm.... tired. Not physically sleepy, but the last 48 hours have just about done me in. I stressed myself out yesterday worrying about things and that kicked off an entire day of contractions, spaced evenly 8-5 minutes apart, but with some 30+ minute gaps. And they never got stronger, or closer than 5 minutes. Maneuvers were made- children were brought to our house, then brought to other houses. Bags were packed. The infant car seat made it into the car with the birth plan, deodorant and tooth brushes.

And then at 10pm, it all stopped. Once everything was ready to go, phone in-hand and OB office nearly dialed, it was over. The day of contractions ended. I fell asleep and had dreams all night about arriving at the hospital and having the baby. By the time I woke up in the morning I was exhausted from birthing the four babies I felt I had birthed overnight. After a slow morning of child-collecting and checking in with family, I insisted on a 2 mile walk.

I don't know what I thought was going to happen- but nothing did happen. So it's back to eating, drinking, peeing, and waiting waiting waiting.

It's not like it can go to college in there.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

36 weeks

Pregnancy is like marathon training. It's EXACTLY like marathon training. You have this thing that's going to happen in the future, and you have months to prepare for it. There are books to read, foods to eat, exercises to do (or not, whatevs)... Instead of increasing mileage, there's increasing pounds on top of your body. It just gets heavier, and harder to move around. But the harder it gets, the closer you know you are to the finish line.

Also- there's the one big push at the end. The hardest day is the last day. And it's coming. And you know it's coming. And you're kinda scared, and pretty excited, and you're not quite sure if you'll be able to handle it, but you really can't turn back now.

The main difference???? Scheduling. If I told you someone was going to come to your house with a bull-horn and announce the start of your marathon while you were sleeping, or working, or shopping, or driving- and you wouldn't know when... just a vague idea of sometime in the next 4 weeks.... and then ready... set... GO! Marathon! 26.2.

The second difference??? The actual mileage. Maybe labor will last 5 hours (yay!! Sawyer was so easy!) or 15 hours, or... sigh... possibly closer to 20-24 hours. You won't know until it's over how long it actually will be.

Another similarity... pulling the plug. What if something weird happens and they have to do a C-Section? Breech baby? Weird infection? You'll get a DNF (did not finish) for the laboring, but you'll still get your medal for trying.

More similarities: heat an humidity are enemies of both. You need new, life-event-specific clothes that won't really be applicable at any other time. Hydration is key, as is going with the flow: preparation will only get you so far during the actual performance.

Final similarity: you want pictures of the whole thing, but the pictures will come out kinda wonky due to sweating.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Overheard: 10pm

Him: I found your grocery list. And I'm going to go now. What else do we need?

Me: I dunno. Look at the list.

Him: It just says "chicken." I need you to be more specific.

Me: It's for your lunches.

Him: So we need lunch meat?

Me: No. You just need food for lunch. I don't care what it is.

Him: So we don't need chicken?

Me: Well.......... We don't HAVE any chicken.

[And he stared at me for several minutes before I broke down laughing so hard I thought I was going into labor. I wasn't.]

35 Weeks

I figure it's time for a real picture....
Yes, this is full-frontal at 34 weeks. It's why I think it's a boy!

Haha! See!! 34 weeks! I keep marveling at how the front-view is so different from the side-view......

34 weeks, side view. Stephan wants to invent a pregnancy L bracket.

I have tried to take a few walks lately- nothing more than one mile. I get all sweaty and exhausted. I've been doing the squats, 10 every time I go to the bathroom (which turns into a lot of squats!) Even though we have 5 more weeks- technically- I started to get nervous and I washed a bunch of clothes and diapers (we do cloth) and packed a hospital bag. The first time we did this, the Sawyer was born less than 5 hours after I started labor. The doctor predicted 1/2 the time for this one which leaves us... not a ton of time to gather resources.

Of course, saying that means it will be 3 days of labor. But I've started to see the light at the end of the feeling-terrible tunnel. A few more weeks and everything will be so different. I know I'll miss this a lot- the sitting- the ice cream- the one-on-one with Sawyer- the peace and "dwuiet" (that's what Sawyer calls it, it rhymes with quiet). 

It's also a quiet, weird type of confidence to know that I have all the tools to get back into shape as soon as I'm ready. Last time, I had never run a marathon, or followed a training plan, or been fitted for running shoes. I'm starting a lot further ahead this time than before. Also, sidewalks. And no snake season in the city.