Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Overheard: 10:29pm

Me: Don't turn off that light!!

Him: Why not?

Me: Because I'm not tired yet.

Him: Why does that mean I have to be awake?

Monday, December 22, 2008

It took me 24 hours to realize why this was funny....

Rancher (winking): Yeah, and Stephan heard that (so and so) has an old cattle ultrasound for sale!

Me (clueless): Uhhh, yeah, the vet already preg. tested our cows.

Rancher's Wife: But you know.... (wink).

Me (still clueless): Ummm....

Rancher's Wife: For when it's time....?

Me: OOh, yeah but the doctor's office has an ultrasound also.

[awkward pause]

[subject change]

So, seriously, I didn't think anything was funny. This morning I googled "Cow ultrasound" and this is what came up. If you can watch more than 2 minutes of this bravo- you should be a vet or/and rancher.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Last Minute

So it's December 21st- you have only 4 more days until Christmas. If you live in Baker or Plevna, and can't get to Billings, Miles City, or Dickinson (where the Wal-Marts and malls are) your options are limited. If you live in Chicago, you're probably snowed in. Here are a few really good ideas for gifts if you need them- all of them are way cool ways to donate to charities in the name of people you love.

Animal Lovers: The Illinois Doberman Rescue takes donations all year long, and even has a calendar to purchase! Want to buy someone a puppy? DON'T!! Instead, donate all the supplies to IDR+ and let the family/friend decide for themselves if they are ready for the responsibility of a pet.

People Lovers: Heifer International is a wonderful project that doesn't "give a man a fish" it "teaches a man how to fish" by bringing in the livestock native to poor populations and teaching the community how to use its new resources. You can make an online donation to purchase bees, ducks, goats, or cows, and then email or print up a certificate suitable for gift-giving.

Food Lovers: Feeding America helps put food on the table of in-need Americans. Especially with the rising cost of food, and the economic suck that's going on- instead of buying that Apple-bee's gift certificate, give food to people who need it.

Lost Lovers: The American Cancer Society... gosh, I don't know what else to say about them. They help educate people with cancer, help research cures for cancer, and are really the go-to people when the doctor is looking at you and using the C-word.

Child Lovers: Save the Children is that one you see on TV where you can sponsor a child, get their photo, get letters from them, etc. Sure, you often donate once and then ignore all their subsequent spamming, but even that first donation really helps kids across the world (this can also be an excellent teaching-tool for younger kids, having them learn about the country and culture of their "adopted" friend).

So take a look at those last few people on your list, go get your credit card and/or your telephone and do some online shopping on this cold cold day. You won't even have to pay for rush delivery!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Go White!! (not as racist as it sounds)

- or -

The Plevna Cougars vs the Terry Terriers

Last night we went to our first Plevna Cougars basketball game. We missed the girls game at 6:30 but were just in time for the boys at 7:30. It was really neat to see all of our neighbors and their kids. As we looked over the program Stephan's comment was, "at least we've got them outnumbered." Our 11 boys (Reid, Taylor, Levi, Blayne, Kendall, Will, Cody, Matt, Joe, Jacob and Chad) were playing against their 6 (Trevor, Weston, Jerett, Tanner, Kyle and Mike).

What I couldn't figure out was why the woman behind me kept yelling, "Go Wyatt!" and "Way to go Wyatt!" I kept looking over the program to try to figure out which kid was named Wyatt... but there weren't any.

It took me more than 1/2 the game to realize that, since it was a home game, the Plevna Cougars were wearing mostly wahyt uniforms.

Yeah, and I've also been told to "Girl-bull up."

Bragging Rights

Seriously, I just kicked ass.

Begin applauding.... NOW!

P.S. 6.21 miles = 10 kilometers

Thursday, December 18, 2008


The dogs have been sick again lately. There's been lots of poop. We've become and expert poop-cleaning team. Stephan got sick of bringing work home with him so he took the dogs to the vet today. Immediately they told him that Besa is overweight. No problem, but then here's the other thing:

The vet thinks that the dogs have pancreatitis. Her solution is a form of a cleanse. They get nothing by mouth for 24 hours, then only water for the following 24 hours, 1/2 their normal food the 3rd day, and regular food on the 4th day.

It hasn't even been one day and already Besa is laying on the floor with her paws around the food bowl. They are so sad.

As any of us would be.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Not About Montana

- or -

All about the 7-411 (for those who get it)

So, internet, I've been keeping something from you. I know it's hard to believe that things go on that I don't write about. We've done homesickness, family deaths and illnesses, cancer, vacuum cleaners, dog poop, and meat-air. This is actually a little more personal, so bare with me if you want to, skip this post if you don't. Let me answer some questions first...

Question: Are you pregnant?
Answer: No.

Question: Do you like kids?
Answer: Yes.

Question: Do you want kids?
Answer: Yes.

Question: Do you promise to tell me right away if you are pregnant?
Answer: No.

Question: Are you planning on having kids soon?
Answer: Yeah, here's the deal with that...

(And first you have to know that Stephan is allowing this post only if I include the fact that I know this isn't as big of a deal to the universe as it is to me)

More than a year and a half ago Stephan and I decided we really would like to start a family. So we did all the things that married people do to try to start a family. After about 6 months of no luck we went to the doctor, who suggested a few things, which we tried. We hit the one-year mark with no luck yet, and that's when I started to get very sad (this is putting it mildly). I went back to the doctor, who had more suggestions, which we've tried. Stephan even got to go to his own doctor, who had no suggestions for us at all.

If you've ever met me you can imagine how frustrating this is for me. Usually when I want something, I get it/do it/make it happen. I'm also very good at following instructions. When they told me to "just relax" I focused on meditation, eating right, losing weight, taking vitamins (expensive buggers), and drinking water. So far we've done everything that isn't technically a fertility treatment (since those aren't covered by insurance), including some very interesting traditional tribal remedies.

I understand that we haven't exhausted all of our options yet, and that if it wasn't meant to be there's nothing I can do about it. I look forward to being in a financial & emotional place to adopt if that's where this is heading. I look forward to the day when I can post stories here about more than just how much I love my husband and dogs. I look forward to learning new things, facing new challenges, and watching my life completely taken out of my own control...

But I guess that's where I am now- not getting what I want, and being whiny about it. If you have some cheese, I'll take two slices please.

Monday, December 15, 2008

FAQ: Is it as Cold there as they say it is?

Answer: OMG, YES!!!

The air temp was -20F today. And that was the high. The high people. Last night I had on long underwear, sweatpants and jeans and was still cold... inside. We're way past frozen toothpaste. It did snow this weekend but only 6"-8". Just like last year it's blowing around everywhere. In the morning it might be piled against the garage, at night it's all up against the back door. Whenever they say we'll have snow the truth is that the whole town shares the same 12" of it. It just takes turns blowing to everyone's house. No need to shovel.

Also, Stephan wants me to write about the dog baths he gave tonight. It was a two-step process. First he whitewashed them both in the snow drift outside our house (which they appreciated), then he showered them inside in the shower. It looks like big foot scrubbed up in there. Icky.

But it's not as bad as it would have been if the dogs had been allowed to lay their poop-covered butts on the bed tonight.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

For Those Who Get It pt.2

You know you're a rancher if you laugh at (or even understand) the following...

Him: At least I tried.

Co-worker: It's all a steer can do.

Friday, December 12, 2008

For Those Who Get It

This fact means that the water-benders rock the world tonight.

Urgent Winter Weather Message

"A powerful arctic front will move across the forecast area Saturday bringing dangerously cold temperatures and wind chills during the afternoon. The bitterly cold conditions will continue through Saturday night. Snow will develop along and behind the front Saturday and Saturday night with accumulations of 4 to 7 inches possible across most of the area.

"The front will usher in strong Northwest winds of 15 to 30 MPH with gusts to 40 MPH. These strong winds will cause significant blowing and drifting show along with areas of near blizzard conditions. In addition... dangerous wind chills of 20 below to 40 below zero will be likely across the plains by Saturday night. Anyone planning travel this weekend should be prepared for bitterly cold temperatures and very hazardous travel conditions. Ranchers should take actions to protect vulnerable livestock."

So... keep your cat in, and don't try to test your winter sleeping bags and tents this weekend.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sunshine Award

Stephan was awarded the "Sunshine Award" this month from the hospital!

"This award is presented to Stephan Koruba on December 8th, 2008 for Spreading Sunshine Throughout Fallon Medical Complex."

Awwww. I'm so proud.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Tourism Brochure

Come to Montana! Visit the historic West! Included in your visit will be:

Dinner at the infamous Plevna Bar!

Drunk Wii bowling!

Stay at the Plevna bed and breakfast (animal allergies not recommended)!!

Enjoy cowboy coffee while wading ankle deep in cow-poop to watch a cattle branding.

Tour of the 100-year-old downtown Baker, Montana.

Enjoy a night out at one of various Fallon County events including (but not limited to) hospital fundraisers, bowling, live music in a smoky bar, staying warm huddling together during a power outage.

Driving tour and hike through Medicine Rocks State Park.

Visit historic Ekalaka including the Long Pines, Carter County museum, the double-yellow-line through town.

Taste local cuisine like bison meat, homemade sausage, various baked goods.

Watch movies in the state-of-the-art living room on the $99 IKEA futon.

Pet the world's friendliest dogs and cats.

Listen to a typical couple quibble about fun things like ex's, money, housework and clothing.

Call now to reserve your fun-filled weekend!!!

New favorite quote: Broke, maybe. Poor... never.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

'Nother Thursday Night

Stephan's gone for the night working in Billings, so to keep myself occupied I turned on The Return of the King. I think I've seen this move at least 4 times, and each time I start crying right at the part when the two little Hobbits run forward to try to distract all the Orcs so their friends can destroy the ring.

Whoever planned and executed that shot was brilliant. There's 10,000 bad guys, 5,000 good guys and the background of the dark city of Mordor and two tiny people running forward to save their friends.

I also love when Eowyn says, "I am no man."

I think that's the one line I remember from the Disney read-along tapes of LOTR that's stuck with me all these years. "Gonna kill the king? Think you're invincible? Well BOO-YA! How does my sword taste now Bee-otch?"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Overheard: In Front of the Fridge

Him: A guy could get used to this boxed wine.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The 100th Mile

While we were in Lewistown I went for a short run along a great path the city had made out of the old railroad track. It was a nice morning, not too cold, and not very crowded. When I got back I looked at the Nike+ data on my iPod and realized that I was exactly 0.97 miles away from hitting the 100 mark! I told Stephan and he asked me to wait to run the last mile so he could come with me.

We got home so late last night that we HAD to eat dinner and bake Amish Friendship Bread. After all that it was close to 9:30pm. But it was just a mile, so we piled on warm clothes and walked out to the Community Center gym. Stephan watched Good Morning Vietnam for the 11 minutes it took me to finish the mile. With no warm up or cool down I'm a little sore today, but glowing nonetheless.

I hit my goal 1 month early!! Anyone got any ideas for the next one?