Saturday, July 26, 2014

Must... do.... the squats.....

As part of our Bradley Birthing classes I was assigned a weekly set of exercises. It includes butterfly stretches, kegels, and, every day, squats. It's week 2, so I have to do 15-20 squats a day.

You can do that in your sleep, right? That should take about 2 minutes, right?? Just get those out of the way before breakfast, right???

I'm terrible at the homework for this class. And those squats are my new nemesis. I'm writing about them so that maybe my public declaration will motivate me to just get them done. When Sawyer saw me practicing while holding onto the counter the other day he chimed in with, "Our sensei says you have to go lower. No, Mom. Lower. Lower..... yeah."

Sawyer is 4 and he's harassing me about my squats.

Giant shout-out to our amazing Bradley teacher Karalyn Voelkner, who has put everything together so it's super easy to keep track of everything (and super hard to be a slacker about it)

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Last weekend was the Chicago Rock n Roll 1/2 marathon. Sigh. I lived vicariously through pictures on Facebook. But I spent the weekend inside, in air conditioning. Also, at the pool.

It's third-trimester time. The cuteness of being big is wearing off, and the impossibility of moving from place to place is beginning. The baby weighs about 3lbs right now. In the next 8 weeks, it will more than double that weight. That's a lot of ballast.

But keep moving. That's the goal. Whatever moving means.... some days it's doing the squats assigned by our birthing-class teacher. Some days it's getting out to the pool to float. Some days it's making the trip from the bedroom to the bathroom 18 times. Other days, it means moving my eyes over the pages of a book (Divergent is as good as they said it was).

Also, ice cream.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

How is Pregnancy like College-drinking?

1. Awake at 3:30am drinking sprite and cranberry juice.

2. The farting.

3. Binge-eating whatever someone else left in the fridge (because anything you didn't buy is the BEST. FOOD. EVER.)

4. Reruns of epic shows have a strange attraction (Lost, Dances with Wolves, Passions.)

5. Mens' sweaters are the MOST. COMFORTABLE. EVER.

6. Until they're not, and clothing just gets strewn around the place because when did it get so hot in here all of the sudden???

7. Shoes are the devil.

8. You're still the crying girl at the kitchen table.

9. Everything on a Denny's menu looks amazing.

10. Creepy feeling there's something weird going on in your belly.

Monday, July 14, 2014

List of Awesome Things

Here is a list of things you CAN say to a pregnant lady that will make her feel awesome:

1. Wow- you're all baby! The rest of your body looks so thin!

2. I wouldn't even know you were pregnant from the chest up!

3. You are so cute!!

(That last one is particularly effective when said by a total stranger to a pregnant lady who hasn't had makeup on in 5 days because of a killer sinus infection that's making her eyes swell up like she's a prize-fighter, and forcing her to mouth-breath because her nose is more congested than I-294 Northbound at 8:00am on a weekday)

Thursday, July 10, 2014


Do you guys remember this post about me wrestling with a duvet cover???

Ok. Now imagine that I'm doing that exact same thing, but 7+ months pregnant. And then doing it again because we have approximately the national population of CHINA coming to our house this weekend and I wanted to have "all blankets on deck" for people who are spending the night.

This time, I Googled, How to Put on a Duvet Cover and got a lot (many more than I expected) results. Including videos.

I might be totally over duvet covers. For good.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Strange, but Comforting, but then Strange Pregnancy Dream

I dreamt I had the baby. At home. By myself. I just kinda looked down and there it was, outside. And I think it was a boy (which means this one is probably a girl), and it had a lot of hair, and it was totally healthy, despite being 3 months early.

And then I had Coke and Sun Chips for breakfast.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Things to Do on Restricted Activity

1. Complain and whine
2. Crochet granny squares out of all the spare yarn
3. Binge-watch Orange is the New Black
4. Drink a liter of water
5. Journal about being on restricted activity
6. Binge-watch House of Cards
7. Drink another liter of water
8. Sit on the floor and spot-clean the carpet
9. Repeat step 8 a few hours a day until entire carpet is clean
10. Pee. A lot.