Step #1

I'm pretty sure I have more than one post with this same title. This time I'm not talking about the AA steps (Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.... although now that I've typed that out it doesn't seem that far off)

Step #1 Self-care
I have almost 9 years of blogging behind me that proves that I do not do this well. Or at all. But I try, and I try, and I just keep trying. Rest. Breathe. Drink water. Move. Learn. Connect. Sleep. I've focused my self-care over the last year almost exclusively on meditating. A friend pointed me to The Calm App and I've used it several times a week for almost a year now. I love that it tracks how many days in a row I use it (pinging the competitive and numerical part of my brain) and that there are dozens of options I can use to customize it. My kids love the Sleep Stories, and I've fallen asleep listening to the Sierra Bear every night for the last 2 months.

Therapy is also still going strong. I'm about 15 months into treatment with Meg2.0. She's got me convinced that I'm a lot more normal than I've been giving myself credit for. Yay! And I've been able to speak a little more openly to people about the every day benefits of having a mental health doctor as backup.

Running is... still hanging around my life. I ran the Soldier Field 10 Mile this year, and the Fort to Base 5k. I feel like my mind and body are still recovering from Adam and his 18 months of awakeness (18 months?? Yes. Colic lasted for 3-4 months, and the tiny thing didn't sleep a full night until well into his second year of life). I have the gear. I have Charity Miles and Zombies, RUN! I have a new used treadmill in the corner of the garage. 3-6 miles a week is the best I've done lately. So hopefully I'll get back into a routine with that soon.

Things I Don't Post to Facebook

Since it's been a whole year since I last posted, I feel like I'm shouting down an empty hallway.

Let me catch you up. In 2016 I....

~closed up my "daycare" (because seriously, worst. idea. ever.)
~helped raise $1000+ for DetermiNation
~ran a little
~drank a lot
~was elected secretary for our church's women's group
~started working at a high-end spa and actually making adult money
~gained a little weight
~went on a diet
~continued worrying about my kids' mental health
~started meditating with more consistency
~found a new friendship soul mate in my son's best friend's mom
~continued therapy
~ran a little more
~was on TV with DetermiNation
~quit DetermiNation
~rejoined DetermiNation
~tread water most of the year

I don't think there's a roadmap for how to recover from 2016. I've tried little things here and there. I created a List of 5 things to do while recovering from a tragedy (e.g. the 2016 election).

Step 1: Self-care
Step 2: Donate something
Step 3: Gather with supportive people
Step 4: Research and decide where your talents are best used
Step 5: Change the World

That's all I've got. I want to write more. Because I miss it. And because creating time to sit still needs to be on my 2017 list.