No. Seriously. What I'm about to wax poetically about is totally ridiculous. It's about Pirates of the Caribbean. It's this quote:
~Capt. Jack Sparrow
Dude. Thousands of dollars in therapy over the last 15 years, not to mention the hundreds I've spent on books and classes, all summed up by a rum-addled fictional character in thick eye makeup. I don't even want to 'unpack' this for you ('unpack' being my favorite new therapy word, since it's generally the most disorganized part of taking any trip and consists mainly of upending a suitcase into a laundry basket and dealing with it a week from now).
Instead, I'm going to finish off this glass of wine (I know, why is the rum always gone??), maybe eat more Halloween candy (don't worry, 18 miles this week makes up for it), and go to bed early. Which is EXACTLY what Capt. Jack would do if he was a 30-ish mom in the suburbs.