Ok people. I'm about to rant. It might be an unfair rant. I might feel differently in the morning. But here's the deal: sometimes people can really say things that are hurtful. They're not meaning to do it- it just comes out that way.
This afternoon I was told that I was, "weak and frail."
It was an indictment of my pulse, not my person. But still... Those words have stuck in my brain and irritated it for hours. And like a splinter in a thumb, it's grown and festered until now it's all I can think about. "Weak and frail" are words you'd say to me if you wanted to pick a fight, make me prove you wrong, or decide to inflame my temper to gargantuan size. "Weak and frail" aren't going to make a good mantra for the 1/2 marathon on Saturday.
The biggest problem? "Weak and frail" is what I'm secretly afraid of is going to look back at me from the mirror one day. "Weak and frail" is what I run to avoid, eat healthy to side-step, go to therapy to counteract. "Weak and frail" is how I spent the first 20-something years of my life before I decided to shut up and put my shoes on.
"Weak and frail" makes me want to punch something.