This will be funny ... ... ... ... Someday

No photos, but how about a timeline? All times are in Mountain Time.

Monday
1:00pm - first few attempts to drug cats at mom and dad's house. All fail. We even used Dad's ear irregator to deliver a water and xanax mixture. The vet was called, but was in surgery and did not call back until 3pm.

2:00pm - Gave up on cat meds, started packing the car.

3:00pm - Stephan drives away from Barrington. We decided to travel with un-sedated cats. This decision haunts the rest of the trip.

3:30pm - Anna turns to check on the cats, watches as the black cat urinates on the face, chest and front paws of the white cat, soaking him, and turning him yellow. Stopped at Wal-mart for waterless pet shampoo, odor eliminating spray, hand sanitizer, and caffeine as a result of a cat urine incident. Emptied the car of everything fabric and breathing, deoderized/shampoo'd everything, re-packed with cat access to litter box.

3:50pm - Anna takes back everything bad she's ever said about Wal-mart.

4:00pm - pull over on the side of the road to slam the hood of the car shut.

4:15pm - pull over to once again deoderize/shampoo everything and everyone after second incident of cat urine.

5:00pm - pull over to slam the hood of the car shut.

6:00pm - rest stop to feed/water/exercise dogs and cats.

9:00pm - McDonald's double cheese burgers for everyone!

11:00pm - Anna takes over driving.

Tuesday
5:00am - Cleo the black cat starts to fuss. We pull over at a rest stop just East of Bismarck, ND. Cleo has urinated, deficated and puked inside her crate. She's covered in all of it. Totally ignoring the warning signs, I take her into the women's bathroom and, while holding her in one arm, clean the box using nothing but toilet paper and some water. Seems paper towels are too messy for this rest stop. We shampoo her, inspect her nails (which have broken from scratching the sides of her box), and try to comfort her in the front seat.

5:15am - Stephan realizes that 'Business' 94 is actually 'rural middle-of-nowhere side street unpaved road' 94. Over 5 miles of snow-covered, unpaved 'highway' later, we're back onto I94.


5:30am - It starts snowing in Bismarck. We hear on the radio that we're under a snow advisory, expecting 2"-6" in the next few hours. Stephan is driving.

6:00am - stop to slam the hood shut.

7:00am - Stephan stops for a hotdog. What should have been a 3 hour drive has turned into a nightmare. He's driving 30-40 miles per hour behind any large vehicle he can find to help clear the snow in front of the car.

9:00am - We exit off of I94 in Montana, just a mere 40 miles North of Baker, in Wiboux. The snow continues a bit, but quickly eases up and is replaced with a dense fog that follows us to Baker. Again, a drive that should take 30 minutes takes over 60.

10:00am - We arrive in Baker, merely 19 hours after leaving Barrington.



Me: Stephan, should I add anything to this post?
Him: Make sure to tell people that all doubt about my love for you is finally put to rest. Tell them I'm the best and most patient partner in the history of partners, and that I'm amazing.

$3.50

Gallon of gas: $2.80

Taillight repair: $325.00

Sack of White Castle's: Priceless

Of course

We're not in the city for more than 24 hours and we get involved in a 3 car accident. We were stopped completely at a stop sign, then one car drove another one into the passenger side of our car. No one was hurt, it was just a pain. But we ate White Castle's and things are fine.

Otherwise the trip's been nice and uneventful. We're glad to be home, be with family, and relax a bit. Thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers getting us home safely. Blogs will be spotty until we're back home, just so you know. But it's Easter, so get off the computer and hug a family member.

New house photos

Check them out on Flickr. We're missing a lot of artwork, it's still in the garage. I truly love the colors we picked out.

I'm trying to get everything packed for our road trip out- but since it snowed like crazy last night and this morning (I think something like 4 inches) and now it's melting, only to freeze when the sun goes down, I need to find our emergency gear. Sleeping bags, heavy boots, extra food, etc. Due to an unfortunate flat-tire incident (and the fact that Stephan had to change the tire while the car was on uneven pavement) we now travel everywhere with a pneumatic jack. It's from Sears. It lives in a box that's, oh, something like 4' long by 2' deep and 2' wide. It weighs something like 50 pounds. This, and the spare tire sit in the back of the car at all times. It seriously cuts down on the ability to pack things like shoes, sleeping bags, and, um, dogs.

But yes, the girls are coming with us. They love the car, love driving, love prancing about at gas stations, avoiding broken glass bottles that litter the side yards. It's a good time for everyone. Also, Red loves sitting in the car with her head on the driver's left shoulder, just watching the traffic go by. If you pet her she moves, but if you leave her alone she can sit that way for hours.

Well that explains it!!

Working at the new job, I try to tell people that I really have no cooking experience. Actually, I insist, it's a family joke that I can't cook, so I still have a lot to learn.

After I say all that everyone's first question is, "How long have you been married?"

When I answer them, they just nod, knowingly, and don't say anything else. As if cooking and marriage are somehow related. Is there an Intro to Marriage 101 that I don't know about? A book, like my parents claimed there was for parenting, that gives you recipes and ingredients for kitchen cleansers and laundry solvents?

I went to the library yesterday just to check. I returned a book that Stephan had checked out, and filled out a library card. She gave me a little tour of the facility: the racks of books that were donated and don't have due dates, the shelf of new arrivals, large print and children's section, Westerns, Mysteries, etc. At the end, when I had chosen my book (The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco), she stamped the date and handed it back.

"Do I need to show a card next time?"

"No, just come in. We have your name in the computer now."

"Oh."

"And we have your phone number, so if the book is late we'll just call you."

I know that's true, because Stephan had a few books out late, and they called his cell phone to ask him if he wanted them renewed. They did that on the spot... renewed the books over the phone... after calling him personally to ask him what he wanted to do.

I just can't picture the staff at the Harold Washington Library in Chicago making phone calls when books are overdue. I think they just boot your car.

"There are worse things I could do"

I started laundry at 5:30am. Nice laundromat. Very clean, very safe. Very empty at 5:30am. I'd say there are about 18 washers and 18 dryers.

Half of them, however, are labled as "greasers," and large signs warn that "Anyone caught putting greaser clothes in non-greaser machines will be banned from using the laundromat forever!"

I always thought "greasers" were those guys in the movies who slicked their hair back and used switchblade combs. Or, as my brother pronounced it, "Greez-ers".

It's the oil field guys. Those are greasers, and apparently, they work in the 'patch'. The oil patch. I have SO much left to learn.

Trivia: What does the title of this post refer to?
(Melanie, you can't answer this one)

The neighbors wonder about me

It's 10pm. I'm sitting on the concrete on the back porch, laptop in my... um... lap, cell phone to my ear. I had to call customer service at Vonage to try to get the phone line hooked up, but, since the cellular service is so bad out here I have to use the phone outside. Luckily we have a wireless router for the internet, so I can stay online (to tell them my account number, etc) from the back porch.

It's cold out here.