Working at the new job, I try to tell people that I really have no cooking experience. Actually, I insist, it's a family joke that I can't cook, so I still have a lot to learn.
After I say all that everyone's first question is, "How long have you been married?"
When I answer them, they just nod, knowingly, and don't say anything else. As if cooking and marriage are somehow related. Is there an Intro to Marriage 101 that I don't know about? A book, like my parents claimed there was for parenting, that gives you recipes and ingredients for kitchen cleansers and laundry solvents?
I went to the library yesterday just to check. I returned a book that Stephan had checked out, and filled out a library card. She gave me a little tour of the facility: the racks of books that were donated and don't have due dates, the shelf of new arrivals, large print and children's section, Westerns, Mysteries, etc. At the end, when I had chosen my book (The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco), she stamped the date and handed it back.
"Do I need to show a card next time?"
"No, just come in. We have your name in the computer now."
"Oh."
"And we have your phone number, so if the book is late we'll just call you."
I know that's true, because Stephan had a few books out late, and they called his cell phone to ask him if he wanted them renewed. They did that on the spot... renewed the books over the phone... after calling him personally to ask him what he wanted to do.
I just can't picture the staff at the Harold Washington Library in Chicago making phone calls when books are overdue. I think they just boot your car.
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