And What Does Daddy Teach You?

Last month Sawyer spontaneously started telling me what each member of our family teaches him. 

"Mommy teaches me to be kind... Amma teaches me to write the school way..." 

And what does Daddy teach you?

"A lesson."

There's a group of diaper commercials going around that shows a stereotyped mom being more permissive and comfortable with a second baby than a first baby (less hand sanitizer, more grease and dirt the second time around). It's funny. And pretty accurate. But isn't that how we all handle the "second" anything? That first marathon training program I followed to the digit. I think I missed two runs, and I agonized over each of them. A few months later I ran a 1/2 marathon and pretty much did half the scheduled workouts. You just understand what you can get away with after you've done something once. 

And the other thing you realize the second time around? That you really know nothing. If you can survive something following every rule, and then survive it again following only half the rules.... the thing is just survivable no matter what you do, or how you do it. I was SO judgmental of other runners while I was training for that first race. And maybe it's time I admit that I had a fair amount of things I thought about (that I thankfully didn't say out loud to) other parents when I was just a mom-of-one. 

But by now, "whatever works, dude," is pretty much my life motto. Second baby = second race = second career = second time around at anything... It hits me constantly that the terrible Jersey Shore motto of "you do you" is actually pretty brilliant.  

If you add to all of this that "you" is unique in every moment, at every time and stage, "doing you" can turn into a really zen directive. 

Today's lesson: you totally got this. Whoever "you" are. Whatever "this" is.