Stealing

People often notice that I love to read. I saw this quote today and it perfectly sums up why I do:

"What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you're inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly at you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic." Carl Sagan

I'm reading The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas right now. I love it. I'm lucky enough to be reading it on a Kindle, so I have an instant dictionary with me for all of the SAT words and period references... but it's elegantly readable, and so far, very funny. I tend to read one book per week, but this one is pretty long, so I'm happy that it'll occupy me for a while.

When to Change the Plan

Stephan and I have trained for all of our distance races with variations on Hal Higdon's training plan (while never actually using one of his plans). It includes one long run per week, and 2-3 shorter runs that increase incrementally as you get closer to your race. You never bump up more than 10% of your miles per week. You get a "rest" week about every 3-4 weeks or so (a week with lower total miles), and you have a 1-2 week "taper" week where you decrease your miles before race day. You also never run the full distance before the race.

I'm in charge of posting the weekly mileage to the family calendar and Stephan and I cross out the runs as we complete them.

But we're getting a little bored of the novice plans. So I looked up a different plan. A plan from Nike. This plan has 2 long runs per week, and increases 20%, has no rest week, runs much more than the race distance a month before the race, and puts a 12 mile run three days before the 13.1 mile race at the end of the plan.

We've been working on this schedule for about a month. It sucks. We're going back to the old way. But we've trained for so many races by now that he and I were able to put together a plan that works just out of our own heads. It's kinda fun to make up the training plan. I remember how religiously I took other people's planning: like it was the second set of commandments that Moses handed to a running buddy who mistook them for a relay baton and headed out to finish his leg but never came back.

From the Caterpillar's Point of View

"How exactly does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so badly that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." Trina Paulus

I have no idea who that author is. I just came across the quote this morning and it's fueled a day's worth of ruminating. Are you here to check on how the bipolar II is going? Great. That's what I'm talking about today. Specifically all the things that have changed, or are changing, in order to accomodate a life without drugs, and also without straight-jackets.

Therapy is fun. No, really. I'm actually enjoying it. I get to talk to someone for 50 minutes and neither of us is naked. Also, I get to sit down. Totally new experience.

Awareness training is also fun. But this is more fun in the "time to get your crayons and your pencils..." sort of way. It's watching a 90 minute video every week and doing homework. You know, all the things Anna actually loves doing (see the 15 minutes I spent as a grad-student).

Also, ACT therapy is interesting... although it's the reason I feel like I'm in a grade level below kindergarten. I tried to explain this to Stephan. It went like this....

Me: This is annoying. I feel like I'm taking a class on how to be a human being.

Him: Sure.

Me: I mean, what if someone told you that you need to be potty-trained, and you're 38?

Him: But... in this scenario you're peeing on the seat.

Me: Point taken.

Then there's acupuncture. I've had one treatment, and I'm actually amazed that the last 2 days have been relatively drama-free. I'm using it in conjunction with (complementary to, if you will) the rest of the therapies, so I will never be able to judge it as a stand-alone component. But still, it makes me happy.

While I was at acupuncture, the Oriental Medicine practitioner started talking about my diet. It's not too bad really. But then she suggested I cut out ALL dairy. All. Like, ALL OF IT. And I had a little tiny brain melt-down. Because, you know, I'm not changing enough of my life right now, you gotta mess with my food. And gluten. Stop eating that. The whole family. Dairy and gluten are out. Also, a cleanse twice a year would be good. Brain. Overload. Not. Paying. Attention. Any. More. Something about running also making my condition worse, but honestly at that point I was just giving her my best, "I'm totally listening to your lecture about how microwaves work, Dad" blank stare face. Too much.

Make up your own ending where I tie this all back to wondering if I'm really interested enough in flying to give up yogurt smoothies and pizza.

Overheard: In the Morning

Me: Can I give you lunch money in all 1's?

Him: Sure.

Me: Can I give you $17 in 1's?

Him: Yeah, but any more than ten 1's necessitates a trip to the strip club.

Me: Can I give you ten 1's and a 5?

Him: Sure. That's at least a Fantasy Club visit.

Me: I'm giving you no money. I would like you not to be surprised by that.

Today I...

... Drove in reverse the wrong way down a one way street

... Carried a dog in a Baby Bundler

... Cheered for the person who came in first at the Chicago Marathon

... Cheered for the person who came in dead last at the Chicago Marathon

... Had a cat funeral

... Came to terms with one of the more monumental days of my life.

6am Just Wasn't Early Enough

I wake up at 6am to run.

I wake up at 5am to watch people run.

Huh.

This morning is the Bank of America Chicago Marathon. It is a race I once comemmorated by running from an actual Bank of America bank near my house to an actual Marathon gas station about 1/2 mile away. I'm already in DNation blue. I'm carbo-loading with leftover Pad Thai. I've packed a baby carrier for the puppy that will be joining us this morning. There's also a giant tent in my car, and about 3 days worth of snacks for me. Current temperature: 41F.

I'm so excited. And nervous.

As of this morning, they've raised $1,150,945.62

Each runner raised a MINIMUM of $900. Let's pretend that's an even $1000. What does that get us?

97,835 new cancer patients contacted with personalized, cancer specific information

or

28,775 car rides to treatment for patients

or

23,020 patients given free pain medicine to help deal with treatment side effects

or

11,510 cancer survivors trained to give hands-on support

or

11,510 disadvantaged patients provided case management services through an ACS social worker

or

25,322 wigs

or

23.020 parties for pediatric cancer patients, hosted by medical students


So.... there's that. And I better get moving if I'm going to start layering all my blue and red and grab a coffee before I head out. Stay warm today, and send a few encouraging thoughts towards our 900 DNation runners (and the 45,000 total runners) about to take off this morning.

"What did you think was going to happen?" (part 2)

What a surreal experience. Seriously. First go back and read this post from a year and a half ago.

Funny, right? I mean, duh. Marathon training is hard.

You know what else is hard? Adjusting to a new mental health diagnosis. Case study: Monday sucked. It sucked from sun-up to sun-down. It sucked in the middle, got a little better toward the end, but then sucked hard when I learned that one of our cats had died. It was like a fire-drill of emotional whoooop de doooooo. By the end of the day Stephan and I just sat in bed together stunned.

So therapy on Tuesday was a blast. I showed up, got comfy in the couch, and retold the whole dramatic story. What a day right?

Answer: Welcome to bipolar II. What did you think was going to happen? Let's discuss medication again, and realize for a minute that this is new, you don't have many coping skills in place, and that... well... duh.

Touché mental health professional.

I was also cautioned to look out for emotional swings regarding the death of the cat.

Really? Emotional swings? No. Really?? (I realize sarcasm doesn't play well in a blog, so just imagine me rolling my eyes right now)

So that happened. But if you want to read a good story about trying to define yourself, and then sit and ponder how Anna's doing with the new information, a good place is this post right here.