Me: Oh, I didn't think they'd transfer my call to you...
Village Employee: Yes?
Me: I know there's a thunderstorm right now but...
Me: It sounds like someone is lighting quarter sticks of dynamite near my house.
VE: What does it sound like?
Me: Almost like a gunshot, but deeper pitched. Deeper than my husband's .370 and with a flash of light.
VE: Do you want an officer to follow up with you?
Me: No. Just make it stop.