Monday, May 13, 2013

"How Many Pins do I Need?"

[A post in progress]

This weekend was amazing. Let's go on a mental trip for a minute.

Do you remember your very first race? Do you remember the very first time you did anything that you now do on a regular basis (i.e. stand in front of a classroom full of kids, cut someone's hair, touch a naked person for money)? Do you remember the swirling thoughts?

"I trained for this."
"I can do this."
"I've done this before- this isn't so different from those other times."
"What on Earth am I doing here?"
"I don't belong here."
"Can I change my mind?"
"That's ok. I can do this."
"Just start. You know it'll go fast if you just start (talking, touching, running)."

You look around and see other people gliding in around you, comfortable in their skin, in their work, in the task at hand. Maybe you look away, not wanting to be distracted from your own movement through time. Maybe you stare intently at them, watching for a clue that will help you fit in better, a hint at how to proceed. Or are you just focused? Tunnel vision to get through the uncomfortable moment. Do you think that these first steps are the first of hundreds? Hundreds of runs, hundreds of classes, thousands of people touched? Does your mind open a little to see the expansive nature of what you will accomplish in the next few years (decades)?

1 comment:

Ali K. said...

I have a tendency to wish I could fast forward through the uncertain phases to the part where I'm the comfortable one with thousands of X under my belt...but I know there's some beauty to be found in the beginning moments when you're fighting your fears.