Cathartic blog post ahead:
A runner asked me yesterday why I wasn't running the Rock n Roll Chicago Half marathon on Sunday. I lied and told him I was injured. I made up something about wrecking my feet with stupid shoes. I'm not good at lying. He looked confused.
The real reason I'm not running is because the acupuncturist has made it clear that my weekly runs are a big part of why we can't have another baby. It all has to do with overheating and drawing chi (energy) into my legs and pulling it away from the rest of my body. On bad days, that all sounds really stupid. On good days I remember that Sawyer has been an only child for almost 4 years. And... I feel really selfish continuing to run when I could potentially give Stephan another child, and Sawyer the chance to have to share. And... babies are awesome. I would have 6 if I could. But I can't. I turn 35 in a few months and that closes the window to safely having babies.
(I said safely. I've talked to a lot of doctors who have explained the risks to the baby of having children when you're "older".)
Guys, I have no idea how long I'm going to be able to keep this up. Not running is seriously starting to mess with me. I haven't gained any weight yet, but I feel like it's imminent. Without the release I get from running, my moods are starting to wing around again. Every day I don't lace up I remember that there's something I "can't" do. And that just pisses me off.
Here is a picture of boats: