Friday, May 8, 2015

About Showering

I came up with this title last week. It seemed funny at first, but now I'm realizing it's a symptom of something more serious.

I thought it was funny that I've stopped showering regularly. I usually end up being shoved in there by my husband who declares "enough is enough" every 3-4 days.

That's not me. That's not me at all. When I was challenged with depression in college, one of my coping strategies was to take showers to clear my head. For a while I was showering three times a day. It's my happy place. I love the shower. Being clean.... smelling nice..... something about the water....

And to realize I've let that completely slip away should have been a sign that things weren't going well. Because they really haven't been. Forgetting to pay electric and gas bills is one thing. Forgetting to put on the calendar (and then totally missing) my best friend's baby shower is another. And breaking down in tears as Stephan physically puts me in a car to drive to a friend's birthday party (which I spent in the car in a parking lot down the street because I didn't want to talk to humans) was the last straw.

Something needs to change and we're working on it.

In the meantime, The Blogess has posted some very beautiful things about life. I highly recommend checking out her work.


Ali K. said...

I'm sorry things aren't going well and I hope the change happens quickly and effectively for you. I'm glad you've recognized it and are working to get help.

I love the Bloggess. She got me turned onto Tim Minchin, particularly "This is my Life" in times of depression.

Annie Crow said...

Glad you're working to get the help you need. I'll be thinking of you.

And I also love the Bloggess.