Friday, July 13, 2012

"Continually Amazed"

So.... this is happening. The DetermiNation Director read my speech and sent it back with edits. They're no-big-deal edits (use "365 days a year" instead of "all the time"). BUT I posted a link to the speech on Facebook to try to get my friends and family to read it over since I didn't have much time to obsess about it myself.

I learned that I hadn't really told everyone about the whole Cancer thing. I got a lot of "Dude, you had cancer? How'd I miss that one?" emails back. I guess I just had a lot of other things going on. My amazing goddaughter was born just after the second surgery, my grandma was in a rehab facility because she started going 'downhill', and we lived hell and gone away in Montana. I had stuff to do. I didn't have time to wallow in Cancer.

So I just didn't. The phone call to my mom was about as dramatic as the diagnosis got....

********CUE FLASHBACK MUSIC ********

Me: Mom, it's malignant melanoma. 
Mom: Does that mean cancer?
No. Tell her no. Say NO.
Me: Yes. 
Mom: Should I be worried.
Yes, because I'm freaking out
Me: No. Let's agree not to worry. I won't worry; you won't worry.
Mom: Ok. 

********END FLASHBACK MUSIC ********

So when I got the email back from the Director with the edits I was a little put off that she wrote, "...I am continually amazed by what you've endured and accomplished." 

[I really hope I'm not being a jerk here by quoting her, it really was a very kind email]

Because... well... my Cancer lasted all of about 15 minutes. Compared to other cancers, there really wasn't much to it. A few stitches (ok, like 20 in a very painful place), some crutches, and then boom. Over. I was diagnosed in May and the whole thing was over in July. 

I don't know where to go with this in my head. I was so so so so so so lucky. "One and done" as they say in the business. I don't want this whole thing to be about what "I" did. It's more about the services and people who were there when I needed them, AND how we can make sure those services continue to be available. AND.... how maybe one day, instead of everyone being famous for 15 minutes, maybe one day, everyone's cancer will only last 15 minutes.

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