Me: You're using WebMD to diagnose me?
Him: No. I can't diagnose anyone. I'm just reading.
Me: I trust you though.
Him: If I end up in the ER this week....
Me: .... ??
Him: No, I mean, if YOU end up in the ER this week...
Me: Yeah, I was going to say, you have to work this weekend, so you better end up in the ER.