Deer-ly Beloved

Sorry for the pause in posting. I'm in Salt Lake City tonight because my flight into Dallas (and thus to Chicago) was cancelled. I'm currently enjoying the lush comforts of a delivered Domino's Pizza, and a Super 8 hotel. Not to worry, I should be home tomorrow afternoon, in plenty of time to stand up at my friend's wedding on Sunday.

How did I get to Salt Lake City in the first place? We got our car back from the body shop on Tuesday before noon. It looked perfect. Brand new. Pretty paint, new rear bumper, clean doors. Amazing. At 7pm we drove out of town, North on Rt 12. Not 10 minutes later Stephan asked me, "what was that? Something just crossed in the road behind us!" As he was looking in the rear view mirror, a deer ran across the road in front of us and he breaked just in time for the front passenger bumper to slam into the small deer and send it flying. We pulled over, safe but shaken. I was trying very hard not to laugh. Stephan was swearing up a storm. We got out of the car and saw that, on the same side of the car that had just been fixed, the front bumper had broken off the frame. Some of the quotes from that night:

Him: THIS is why we can't have nice things!

Me: Shouldn't we see if the deer is ok?
Him: What am I going to do? Start an IV?
Me: You could.

Me: STOP! Another deer!
Him: That' a bush.
Me: Oh.

Me: ON THE LEFT!
Him: That's a tree.
Me: Oh.

Me: Ooh, look at the moon!
Him: Where?
Me: On the left. Like, "There's a bad moon on the left."
Him: What?
Me: That song... "There's a bad moon on the right."
Him: There's a "bad moon on the RISE."
Me: Oh.
Him: Did you spend a part of your life deaf?

Universal Truth

No matter how friendly he is, or how long ago you told him you were going to bring your car in to have it fixed, or how small the town is...

The body shop guy will NEVER get the part in on time.

Never.

Question for the Universe

My vacuum cleaner isn't working. The Hepa Filter says to change it every 6 months. It's been 6 years.... is that something you have to change, or is it like that extra car insurance when you rent a car? Can I just run it without the Helpa Filter? What IS a Hepa Filter? Don't they make clothes and rope out of Hepa?

Saturday

We set traps yesterday. My job was to hold the cabinet door open so it didn't accidently swing at Stephan's head and freak him out while he set the traps. There was lots of jumping involved. I picked up the camera for a minute to try to catch a photo, but I had a job to do- photos had to wait until later.

Now, this morning, Stephan left for work. I didn't drive him, and wasn't awake when he left. But I do know that one of the traps is missing, and there are work gloves on the kitchen counter. I'm on garbage duty this morning, and seriously wondering what's going on. Where is the mouse? Is it in the garbage? You can't just spring that on someone- I need to know. Where is the mouse? I don't want to be tooling along this morning, whistling a happy tune, and be surprised that there's a dead mouse... in my way.

Haven't done laundry myself again yet. Just so you know. I wonder, when you see those "Please save our pets" signs on windows for emergency workers, why don't they list spiders and mice?

Mornings

This is what it looked like last week as we drove Stephan to work at 5:15am. This week, it's just back to blackness. We miss the beautiful sunrises, the red clouds, the owls trying to fly in front of the car. It's getting cold here very quickly. Last week we had 100+ temperatures, this week is all 60's and 70's. School started here today. What happened to summer?

Stephan is looking forward to the frigid temperatures he misses from Alaska. I'm excited that all the spiders will die when it snows in the basement again. Not that we want it to snow in the basement. But if it does.... bye bye spidey! We haven't seen a Return of the Mouse, but he chewed and spit out a chunk of cabinet. Good for him. Maybe it was coated in formaldehyde.

As Stephan once said to me, I better stop saying those things, or the "NAACP is going to be after you."

NOT about the Fair

If you read the blog regularly, you know that about once a week I find something to freak myself out about. We've been through the Bleeding Ceiling, snakes, submandibular masses, and spiders. Last week, a mouse jumped out at me from a tall cabinet. I didn't write about this. I was tuff.

Some days I think my house is conspiring against me. Like today. Today, I've moved past my fear of the basement. Spiders? We haven't seen them in weeks! I thought they were gone. THEN I took the laundry downstairs. No problem. Oh, look, a little tiny spider. How tiny and cute. That can't hurt me. No proble......eeeehhhhhhhhMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

I walked into a spider web. And, like a warrior holding his shield in front to protect him from death, I held onto the laundry basket as I ran up the stairs. Shoved the basket up onto the kitchen floor (possibly injuring one of the dogs who was in the way). Now, I'm back on the couch. I've relapsed into pre-Montana eating habits like fake-crab meat and pickled okra. I'm in my happy place.

I'll be up here if anyone needs me.

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Him: Can we throw insects into the web?
Me: No.
Him: Maybe if we start feeding them, they'll feel more like pets.
Me: No.
Him: Seriously?
Me: NO!

Careful what you wish for...

There's a sound out there this morning I haven't heard since we moved here 6 months ago. I'm learning how the wail of a siren can actually pierce the human body when someone you love is on one of the fire trucks speeding out of town. Funny that the dogs woke up just 2 minutes before the alarm sounded on the radio. Funny that just last night at the Party on the Square, Stephan met two kids he was in the Fire Fighter One class with. They were talking about how few fires have happened in the Plevna Fire District.

I couldn't hear exactly what was going on- all I heard was smoke in some pine trees. It's the "tree" part that scares me. People have been telling me about how fire jumps between trees. How unpredictable tree fires can be. Kristen, I'm sure you can tell me more.

I know everything's going to be just fine. He'll be back in a few hours, stinking of smoke, and tired, but safe. Until then, I'll be pacing the house and listening for trucks returning.

******************
He's back! Home in one piece, wearing cute pants. As soon as I can, I'll 'interview' him about the fire this morning. He had to go wash the truck, and I want to go catch a few more photos!!

Fair: Thursday and Friday

Photo of a pig, and Stephan eating pie. The best part about the fair, HAS to be the pie. We've had two pieces each night the fair has been going on. As Stephan says, "The Lutherans have the best pie."

Photos are on The Website in a set of it's own called "Fallon County Fair '07". We're going to a concert tonight, if Stephan gets out of work on time.

My greatest moment forced Stephan to say, "Come on, LuAnn, let's get out of here." I saw some cows. I looked at the children taking care of the cows and said, "Can we just touch them?" The kids looked at me like I was crazy, and that's when we left the livestock tent. Apparently, you can touch the cows to your heart's content. Cows aren't a big deal here.

There were also pigs and chickens and things. And canned foods, prized carrots and squash, quilts, and games and rides. It's been a blast so far- even though it's been 60 degrees and soggy for two days.

All's Fair

It's Officially Fair Time in Baker! Fair. Time. People. What does that mean? It means that every hotel has 'no vacancy' signs up. It means that the lines at the Big K and Frady's (drive up restaurants) are really long. It means that Stephan is bracing himself for rodeo ER's. Here's the schedule:

Thursday
8:00am - 4-H Horse Show
7:00pm - Talent Show

Friday
8:00am - 4-H Livestock show
7:00pm - PRCA Rodeo

Saturday
1:00pm - Rodeo
8:00pm - Entertainment

Sunday
10:00am - Cowboy Church at Fairground Square
12:30pm - Parade
2:00pm - Demolition Derby
7:00pm - Four Shadow Night Show - Tim Gabrielson

I promise to post photos and comments. I've never been to a county fair- and certainly not one in a state that pioneered 4-H.

Overheard: TMI

Me: When you're out of the shower come here and look at this website.
Him: Oh, yeah, that's going to be a great movie.
Me: HEY!
Him: WHAT?!
Me: You just farted, and then waved it at me with your towel.
Him: No.
Me: Yes you did.
Him: No. I just farted and the towel came off.
Me: ....
Him: I am many things, but I am not that guy.

"Friday"

We use this word, not to refer to an actual day of the week, but a circumstance: The evening before a day off. For instance, Sunday night was Stephan's Friday because he didn't have to work on Monday. Tuesday night will be my Friday because I don't work on Wednesday. Stephan's next Friday will be Thursday night.

This was all good when he was working 3-4 days in a row. There would only be one Friday per week. But now that life has calmed down, and the schedule he's working is more sane... there are more Fridays. This week, there will be three Fridays since he works two days, is off for two days, works two days, is off for one day and then works one day.

Friday used to be an excuse- now it's a way of life.

Overheard: In the Bar

Stephan told me this story- it is well worth repeating:

I was shooting pool, waiting for you to be finished at work. It was early afternoon, so it was mostly people in their 70's hanging out. They were talking about Sturgis, which, I guess, is a coming-of-age experience here. As I passed by the group to order another drink, an old man pulled me aside and said, "Young man, come over here for a second."

Much to my surprise, he pulls a two-foot zucchini out of a produce box, slaps it on my upper thigh, and says, "I just wanted to see which one is bigger." To which I respectfully replied, "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't want to embarrass you." His friends all got a good laugh out of it, and I was glad I didn't have to show up The Zucchini.

And so it goes on the great plains...

An Outing

We went golfing this week. We didn't keep score, and we shared the one set of loaner clubs. Actually, we just played like we were one person- Stephan shooting the long game, and me doing the medium stuff and putting. We played the 9 holes that we have here in Baker, at the Country Club that you can see above. The closest I think we got to playing real golf was getting a double bogie (which apparently means hitting the ball two more times than par) on a hole. Everything else was 9-12 strokes to get to the green.

It was ok, though, since we were the only ones out there. I learned that golf is a lot more fun with whiskey, and that my fun-limit is about 4 drinks, or 6 holes, whichever comes first.

Later that day I claimed that I'd had to much "sun", leading Matt (of Matt and Kayle) to offer me a "sun and coke" at dinner.

Overheard: More Insects

Me: There's a big bug.

Him: Kill it.

Me: With what?

Him: Toilet Paper.

Me: It's too big to kill with toilet paper.

Him: Then use... ah... use a labrador.

Back from St. Louis

I had a long, wonderful trip out to St. Louis, passed the Healing Touch Level 5 class, and had a peaceful journey home. Passing the class officially makes me a Healing Touch Practitioner. Check out the video to learn more about it.

Home has been nice. The weather is cooler. I missed my clients, and am happy to get back to work. Things are going really well for Stephan at the hospital too. We're both looking forward to a few calm weeks before a trip home for a (really exciting) wedding.

Thanks for bearing with the blog while things have been shaking around. I have photos from the class on the photo site.