Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dear Dyson,

(an open letter to the Dyson Company)

Hello. I am a new customer of yours who just purchased a DC24 dyson ball vacuum cleaner. I just wanted to offer my services to you in case you needed a spokeswoman. I have editorial experience (see: Fallon County Times, August 29th, 2008), advertising experience (see: my office), and most recently I have pimping experience (see: August 28, 2008). I would love to pimp your product. Advertising tag lines could go something like this...

*Woman cleans house, discovers furniture is actually blue

*Woman vacuums rug, then floor, then bathroom, then chairs, couch, bed, pillows, dog crates

*Man vacuums house

*House clean for the first time in over 1 year

*Cats welcome on furniture!

*Man comes home to find wife vacuumed three times in one morning

The possibilities are endless! I would, like any good pimp, appreciate remuneration for all my hard work and yapping to friends and family. Also, I'd like to rent out my vacuum cleaner to people who are considering purchasing one of your products so they could see the wonders for themselves. Think about it, get back to me. Checks can be mailed to the address at the bottom of the blog.

Anna Koruba
Wife, Satisfied Customer

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Looks like a very powerful and complex unit. Can I handle this machine? Will it suck up my child?

Don and Melissa