This Post will be Deleted on Tuesday...

[I'm leaving this post here for now, since it's all part of the Journey. But the nurse called back this morning FINALLY and said it was simply Seborrheic keratosis a very common type of benign growth in adults]

But for now, I'm sitting still on a Friday night wondering what the biopsy results are from a little mole taken off of my cheek TWO MONDAYS AGO.

Someone knows. I called twice today. The nurse on the phone called me back and said, "The results are here, but the doctor has to call you about them."

This is going on record as the dumbest stupid thing any medical professional could have ever said to me ever ever ever*. So... you know the answer. And... you're not going to tell me. And... it's a Friday before a three day weekend. And... "the doctor has to call you" really just tells me that it's bad news.

Here are a few other things she could have said:

1. "Oh, Mrs. Koruba. Yes, we have them in, and the doctor still needs to review them. He's booked up today, it might not be until Tuesday. Would you like me to speak with him and see if it's ok for me to just call you back this afternoon?" [yes, I know this might technically be illegal. I'm willing to take that chance]

2. "Hmm, Mrs. Koruba... nope, I don't see that we have them yet. Why don't you call back on Tuesday?" [yes, I know this is lying, but it would have made me feel better]

3. "Hold on, let me get the doctor on the phone for you."

4. "Hey, yeah. I see that we have them in, and everything is fine, but the doctor specifically wanted to go over a few of the details with you himself. I'll make sure he calls you first thing on Tuesday."




*actually, a doctor once looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You know, the first step is acceptance." THAT was the dumbest thing ever. This is the second.

Copyright Infringement

So... I guess my Zombie-iPhone-game-is-a-government-training-program idea has already been done.

And it's been done well, my friends. Very well indeed.....

Chapter 1

While I was on a Zombie run this morning I passed an unmarked police car. The man inside was on a phone watching out the window. He was in plainclothes. He stared at me while he spoke into the phone.

Which leads me to this:


Zombies, Run! How an iPhone App Saved the World.

Chapter 1

We thought it was just a fun way to run. We thought it was helping our interval training. We thought it was just a game. We were wrong.... It was actually a sophisticated recruitment program for an apocalypse the government knew was coming. They had the Zombies, now all they needed was the antidote. With thousands of trained runners already up to date on the lingo, the missions, and the goals, all they needed to do was to activate a world of Runner 5's to connect the desolate outposts that had survived the initial outbreak.

Truthiness

5 days out of 7 I try to make excuses why today is not a good day to run.

Luckily, at least 2 days out of those 5 I remember I have a blog full of inspiration to click on!

I just didn't want you guys to get the wrong idea. It's not all pom-poms and smiles over here all the time.

Rain Dance

I just realized why there is a drought in the Midwest. Apparently, every time I want to 'sneak in' a run and only have a few minutes to spare, it pours down rain. So, I'm sorry farmers, for my lack of enthusiasm this summer.

Overheard: Waking up

Me: Sawyer, we're going to go see Thomas the Train today! And Sir. Topham Hatt!

Sawyer: Mom, is this Christmas?

More Being

It's raining. The iPod can't go in the rain (something about eating after midnight, too). My face hurts too. So many excuses!!

Also, I wanted to share this story...

One day after being told to "Just Be Anna" I was at the bank. The teller is a nice young woman who I see there all the time. She glanced in my wallet and saw a photo of Sawyer as a baby. She asked if she could see it closer.

I also have a fortune cookie fortune below the photo. It's a little personal, something no one really sees, but I look at and find inspiration from all the time. I couldn't decide if I should share it with her or not. I mean, I was at the bank.

I told her, "The fortune says, 'All things are impossible, until they are not.'"

The teller asked, "Oh, was he a miracle baby?"

I answered, "Um, kind of.

And then the bank teller broke down and told me she was SO glad to know that, because she sees Sawyer all the time, and it's so hard to be disappointed all the time, and she knows that God has a plan, but it's just so frustrating... She thanked me over and over again for showing her the fortune cookie.

So glad I was Anna at that moment. I love those moments.

Just Be

Watch out kiddos, this is gonna be a deep one.

Recently, someone who didn't know me so well told me to, "Just be Anna." This was after I told a string of really inappropriate (and, honestly, not funny) jokes in front of a few people. I was pretty embarrassed about it. I felt like I let the dorky, loud side of my personality out to play when it should have been at home reading a book.

Since then I've been thinking about the idea of Being Me. Butting into a conversation with a funny-but-inappropriate comment is something I do with really close friends. It's NOT something I usually do in the middle of a meeting. I'm usually the silent note-taker in a meeting. So what happened??

Maybe I have just grown up and into a place where I'm comfortable with being more authentic in every situation. Maybe I was nervous in the meeting and my professional veneer was just too rusty to hold up in the face of nerves. Maybe I've learned that, as Kermit was once told, "People's is people," and everyone has the shared experience of being a person- with all the joy and pain that that entails- and that really makes us all friends at heart.

I don't know which one of these is the truth. Maybe it's all of them. In any case, while I'm chasing down zombies I'll be thinking more about how to Just Be Anna.

Worlds Colliding

Zombie. Time. People. Zombies.

Do you have an iPhone? Or an Android phone? Yes? DOWNLOAD THIS APP. NOW!!!!

I thought that running to a story line would just be fun. This is more than fun. I don't want to give anything away if you're actually going to do this. But the first 30 minute Mission this morning got me emotionally involved in a story while I was running. This is way better than listening to Water for Elephants on long runs. And way WAY better than jumping over baby rattle snakes.

The voice actors are amazing. The timing of the information and story is perfect. They told me they were raising the gates to let me in and I literally ducked. There's something about the physiological position your brain is in while you're running that makes this story so truly believable. When they told me a female zombie was behind me, the Lizard Brain believed it. And I ran.

I ran so far away....

No no. I just mostly ran faster. And longer- because I didn't want to quit before I completed the mission. And I seriously can't wait to get out there again.

Summary: best $7.99 I've ever spent for my health.

Post-Race Bluuughs

Seriously? Without another race on the calendar I don't have much motivation. Even with the [relatively] cooler temperatures, I'm just not out there.

Bi-Bi

Although I'm still convinced that this is NOT a cancer blog, I just wanted to share that I have yet another biopsy next week. This time, it's on my face. So here's hoping it's nothing too terrible.

Also, I got a new phone. Who cares? Me. And Nike+ GPS. And.....

More drum roll....

Even more.....

More still....

Zombies, that's who.

MVP

More initials!! These stand for Most Viewed Post. Can you guess what it is? You'll never guess.

It's this post from 2008 when Stephan and I learned all about rodeo. There are a lot of pictures in it, which is why it gets the most Google hits.

The second most read is How to Cook Antelope for obvious reasons. Unfortunately for many people, the conclusion to that post is to simply NOT eat antelope!

The third one is again about rodeo.

And the fourth one is the most interesting to me. Every year about this time the hits sky rocket for this post. It's a summary of the Sun Dance Stephan and I were invited to. I couldn't take any photos, and I really couldn't post many details. But still, people who search for the Lakota Sun Dance South Dakota seem to find their way there every year.

And the last one is a funny post I wrote to my mom about the cleanliness of our house.

Enjoy!!

F.U.N.+

Yeah, that stands for "eff you Nike+". I know my system for tracking my pace and distance isn't the best. I hold my iPod Touch in my left hand and strap it down with a shoelace (to my credit, it's a DetermiNation shoelace). It doesn't have GPS, and I don't really have the distances of my route memorized. So today when I hit what I thought was 1.0 miles, and it only gave me 0.9, I knew I was going to be in trouble.

I know I ran 3.5 today. BUT there is something so sad about not getting credit for it. It's such a let down!! And to add to that I don't have an accurate measurement of my pace.

I should just use a map and a watch. Seriously. Fun+.

Massage & Running

Two of my favorite things!! What should you know if you're a runner and want to improve your life? Well, here are my favorite FAQ's!

Q. How often should I get a massage?
A. At least once a month if you're only moderately active. But if you're training for something, at least twice a month.

Q. Who should I call for a massage?
A. Look for 2 things.  The first thing is price. You definitely want to set up appointments that are affordable to maintain. A massage once a year that's $150 is nice, but chances are, you can't afford $150 twice a month. The second thing is the experience of the therapist with the issues you are having.

Q. Great- so how do I find a good therapist?
A. ASK the person who answers the phone a few questions. How long has the therapist been working there? What type of client do they normally see? You don't want a massage therapist who sees 90% geriatric clients for your sports massage. Also, how much experience does the therapist have with your specific sport. I, obviously, know a lot about the ups and downs and cycles of training for a race because I'm a runner.

Q. Since I'm a runner, I want work on my glutes and hips. Is this awkward to ask for?
A. No!! If your therapist is professional they will have experience with those areas and will know how to tuck in the sheet to make you very comfortable.

Q. What if I don't like what the therapist is doing?
A. TELL THEM. Our feelings don't get hurt. Say things like, "Hey, could you go a little higher on my leg?" or "That area is a little sensitive, can you use less pressure?" or "I'm a little cold, can you turn the heat up?"

Q. When should I get a massage?
A. On your off day, OR AFTER your long run. If your long run is Sunday morning then get the massage either Sunday night or some time on Monday. You don't want to get a massage the day before a hard workout. You need to schedule the massage so your body can rest and heal for about 24 hours afterward.


Any more questions?

Must..... Get.... A.... Run.... In.....

Here is a blog post where I complain that, because Sawyer stopped taking naps last week, I no longer have my sweet-spot of a nap time to sneak in a run. So, unless he picks up his pace, I'm run-less 4 days a week now. UUgh.

End of whining. Check out these ladies to learn more about wine and parenthood.

How Many More?

Someone recently looked at me with a little more than a little amusement on her face and asked me, "Geeze, how many more people are you going to inspire?" So that made me cry. But also, it made me think of the post where I quoted Marc Parent as saying, "The first person you have to inspire every day is yourself."

Sometimes it's really easy to impress other people. As another dear person in my life is fond of saying, "Just set that bar low enough and you can crawl right over it." But I'm not that person. I'm the person who's bar is really really high. And if I keep aiming for THAT damn bar I'm almost certain to disappoint myself. So I need to find a way to inspire myself apart from setting unrealistic (or even realistic) expectations.

I think the answer lies not in what I'm expecting of myself in the future, but in all of the insane accomplishments that I've put down behind me. Since I'm on a quoting roll, there's a DetermiNation ad that says, "If you can run, you can run further. If you can train, you can train harder. And if you do, you can fight cancer." Well, I can run; I can train; and I can fight. Forget about the "harder" part. Just the fact that I've done those three things might be enough to power me through the next tough weeks of speed work.

With an Emphasis on the "Go!"

It's time for me to be a runner, not just a jogger. I've done a pretty good job of turning my non-running-self into a distance runner. Last year's 26.2 proved that I can go pretty far as long as I keep my pace slow. Each race since then has been slower and slower.

So now it's time. It's time for speed. I don't have any distance races planned for the rest of the year, but there's the ever-present 5k. It's already a challenge to change my mind-set to a shorter, more frequent run schedule. My first 20 minute interval workout today was jarring. I came home sweating harder than any of my 90 degree runs last month.

The other change is running until I'm out of breath. I'm used to keeping plenty of gas in the tank to finish a long run and cruise into the house with tons of energy. Now, with only a 20 minute run, it's ok for me to recover for 30 minutes.